For Gallifrey
by LyricsArePoetry
Summary: The Master hates the Doctor for destroying Gallifrey and he's making that undeniably clear but is there something more to the hatred?    T for violence
1. Chapter 1

**For Gallifrey**

The master had the Doctor backed against a wall of the TARDIS. A dangerous smile covered his face "You're going to pay for what you did." He told the Doctor, his voice making it undeniably clear that he was going to enjoy every moment of this.

The Doctor's expression was completely blank, he wasn't fighting back, he wasn't even arguing against it. Seeing the Doctor since the Time War the Master knew there was a part of him that had died with Gallifrey, a part of him that would never come back to life.

_Good _he though, bitterly. He deserved to be dead inside after everything he had done.

"Go ahead" the Doctor's voice was an empty as his expression "You can't make me feel any worse than I already do"

"Oh Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I always thought you knew me" the Master laughed "I can _always _make things worse than they are. And if you really knew anything of pain you'd know that there's no end to how bad it's going to be." He grinned brightly "And boy is it going to get a lot worse for you" he clenched a fist at his side but didn't move his arm "Tell me, Doctor, tell me what it was like. Tell me all about it."

The Doctor didn't reply and the Master tightened his fist, his nails digging into the palm of his hand. He raised his arm and his fist quickly made sharp contact with the Doctor's jaw. The force of the blow caused the Doctor's head to fly back and smack against the wall.

"ANSWER ME!" The Master screamed right in the Doctor's face.

"No." the Doctor replied simply, seemingly unphased by the throbbing pain in his jaw. Another hit came quickly, this time his cheek and the side of his nose felt the Master's anger, resulting in blood falling from the Doctor's nose which neither of them took any notice of.

"You _will_ answer me" the Master told him. "Tell me. Tell me all about it. It must have been a glorious feeling, the lives of some of the most powerful and revered races in the universe in your hands. That power would have been so so glorious"

"Stop it!" the Doctor said darkly through gritted teeth.

The Master grabbed by his shoulders, pulled him away from the wall, only to slam him against it with all his strength. "You don't get to tell me what to do. I am the _Master. _You do as I say or there will be hell to pay. Is that clear?"

The Doctor just stared at him, so the Master punched him in the stomach.

"I said: Is. That. Clear?"

"Yes" the Doctor spat reluctantly.

The Master's dangerous smile returned. "Yes what?"

The Doctor's stubbornness held out and he stayed silent. The Master grabbed his hair and pulled his head down the few inches to his height "Yes what?" he repeated, the eminent threat left unspoken.

"Yes, Master" the Doctor whispered.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that," the Master taunted. "Say it again?"

"Yes, Master" the Doctor repeated, louder this time.

The Master laughed, letting go of the Doctor's hair and pushing him back against the wall "Exactly 'Yes, Master'. I could get used to you saying that. How about you say my name at the end of everything you say? How great would that be? It'd be all 'blah, blah, blah, Master'" he laughed like a gleeful child "You have to do that. And in the process tell me about the Time War. Tell me!"

"I'm not telling you anything, Master" the Doctor whispered. "I'm not thinking about it, let alone talking about it"

"Oh but you're lying" the Master pointed out "Such a bad little liar. You can't stop thinking about it, you can't think about anything else. You can't stop thinking about what you did: the pain you caused, the multiple genocides you committed, the lives and planets you destroyed. You're worse than me!" the Doctor's eyes widened slightly but otherwise he didn't react to the Master's words. "At least I know what I'm doing, at least I know I'm bad, at least I'm not going around claiming to be this high and mighty, caring, good guy who's going to save everyone. At least I'm not A LIAR"

With the last two words he grabbed the front of the Doctor's shirt and threw him to the ground. "And you know naughty, little liars have to be punished" he kicked the Doctor as soon as he hit the ground.

The Doctor made a vain attempt to get up but the Master only let him get to his knees before kicking him again. He bent down in front of the Doctor, "The drumming, Doctor, it won't go away. It won't ever stop. WHY NOT? You're the one who destroyed them; you're the one who killed all of them why am I the one being punished constantly? Why do I have to hear it? WHY?"

This time the Doctor's silence was due who his inability to answer. He didn't know. He looked at the Master hopelessly "Let me help, Master."

The Master laughed in his face "You couldn't help." The momentary amusement quickly turned back to overwhelming anger "You could never help. You killed them. How could you do that? How could you destroy your own people? Your _family, _your _friends,_ the _whole damn planet._" He punched the Doctor again.

"Listen, Doctor, listen!" He said, leaning his forehead against the Doctor's and holding the side of the Doctor's head, his fingers digging into the Doctor's temple. "You should have to hear it."

_Taptaptaptap. Taptaptaptap. Taptaptaptap. Taptaptaptap. _The four-bar drum beat of a Time Lord's heartbeat passed into the Doctor's head. He made a vain attempt to pull away as he felt the pain that came with it, but the Master's grip on him was too tight. The Master stayed there, forcing the Doctor to feel the constant pain of the drumming and after the first few moments the Doctor stopped struggling. He whimpered slightly as it became more and more unbearable _taptaptaptap. Taptaptaptap. _The whimper was a low, quiet sound which the master simply laughed at. The Doctor was shaking slightly from the shock and the pain of it all.

"Please stop it" he whispered, his voice shaking.

"No!" the Master replied cruelly. "You deserve to hear it. The constant drumming, the constant pain. You deserve it. I don't! It's not fair. So you will listen"

The Doctor bore it for a few moments longer, before whimpering once more "Please, Master."

"You're pathetic" the Master spat, pushing the Doctor away from him. The Doctor let out a shallow breath of relief as once again all that was in his head was his own thoughts. "Pathetic!" the Master repeated, jumping to his feet, pacing with his back to the Doctor.

Slowly the Doctor got to his feet, stepping towards the Master "Let me help you."

The Master spun around quickly, slapping the Doctor hard across the cheek "I don't _want _your help."

"What do you want?" asked the Doctor.

"You to shut up!" the Master retorted.

"I'm not going to shut up because I think I know what you want" the Doctor was forcing himself to stay where he was and no take a step backwards. Taking a step back would show the Master he was afraid of him, something the Doctor didn't want to admit to.

The Master raised an eyebrow "Care to enlighten me then?"

"You want Gallifrey" the Doctor replied simply, understanding written in his sad eyes "You want Gallifrey and because of me you can't have it. Because I went too far, because I took the steps that even you could never have taken, because it's gone. Because I destroyed Gallifrey"

"SHUT UP!" The Master screamed before launching blindly at the Doctor. He hit out no caring where he hurt the Doctor, only caring that he did. Each hit came harder and harder than the one before and the Doctor just took it. He didn't even attempt to fight back or step out of the way, he just took it. Not long past before the Doctor fell to the ground and the Master continued his attack, kicking blinding, only caring that he hurt him. Only caring that the Doctor was in as much pain as possible. He was aware of the Doctor becoming weaker and weaker, he was aware of the tears and blood that were mixing on the Doctor's face but he didn't care. The Doctor deserved it.

He grabbed the Doctor's shoulders and pulled him to his feet, pinning him against the wall. "You know _nothing _about me" he hissed before letting the Doctor fall back to the ground. He kicked him one last them and stopped.

He breathed deeply, trying to catch his breath, aware of the Doctor's ragged breathing on the floor beside him but ignoring it. He felt all of the anger seep out of him. He sat down, leaning on the wall opposite the Doctor, just watching him.

The Doctor struggled to sit up properly, so remained slumped against the wall.

The Master laughed but there was nothing behind it and it quickly changed into a sigh.

"Are you all right?" the Doctor asked. His voice was weak and he winced in pain, holding his jaw after speaking.

"Why would you care?" the Master hissed.

The Doctor stayed quiet, gently rubbing his cheek and avoiding looking at the Master.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" the Master added, the bitterness in his voice was forced now, and when he continued his voice was softer "Are you?" he wasn't sure why he asked that, it just slipped out.

The Doctor looked at him, shocked. This entire body hurt both physically and psychologically, and his wide brown eyes told of this. "No" he shook his head gently "I'm never all right"

"I hate you" the Master told him, though his tone of voice didn't give the anger or passion that the words would normal have. He wasn't trying to get a response, he was simply stating a fact.

"I hate me too" the Doctor shrugged, then winced.

"I look at you and I just want to kill you" the Master continued, his voice still uncharacteristically soft.

"But you won't"

The Master snarled before half jumping, half crawling across the room to kneel in front of the Doctor. "But why not? Why can't I kill you" He used the Doctor's tie to pull him into a proper sitting up position. "Why? I hate you. I hate what you did. I hate what you do. I hate everything about you so why can't I kill you?"

"Because I'm all that's left" the Doctor stated simply, no emotion behind the words, just matter of fact.

"Of all the Time Lords there's just me and you" the Master scoffed "How's that for ironic?"

The Doctor stayed quiet not knowing what the Master wanted him to say or do. The Master began subconsciously tapping on the Doctor's tie, _taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap. _After a moment he became aware that he was doing so and stopped, keeping his hand gripped on the tie. Without even thinking about it, he used the tie to pull the Doctor closer to him and kiss him.

The Doctor looked at him, his hearts beating faster through confusion, shock and even fear. "What are you-?"

"I-" The Master shrugged, he knew the Doctor was watching him waiting for his next words or action. He had complete control. He was truly the Master. The Doctor was completely in his hands and both of them knew it. He didn't say anything for a moment, he had no answer to the Doctor's unfinished question, and it wasn't as if he had to answer to the Doctor anyway. "Why didn't you fight back?" he asked eventually "Why did you just take it?"

The Doctor shrugged, he was having the concentrate on his breathing to ignore the pain pulsing through his body.

"Doctor, answer me" the Master ordered.

"You were right" the Doctor said simply.

The Master smirked "I was, was I?"

"I deserved… deserve to hurt for what I did"

"Yes, you do" the Master agreed with no doubt in his voice. He looked at the Doctor, taking in for the first time the dried blood on his face and the bruises which were already forming. He gently ran a finger over the bruise on his right cheek. The Doctor tensed as the Master touched him "But you're already hurting, aren't you? So so much, even before I got here. And it's never going to go away for you. It's all right there in the front of your mind all the time" he laughed "Oh I was write, wasn't I? I said it could always get worse but I was wrong, nothing I do could hurt more than what you're already feeling."

The Doctor used no words to deny or confirm it, but the helpless, lost look on his face was confirmation enough. Eventually the Doctor spoke "You have no idea what it was like." He closed his eyes and the Master knew he was back on Gallifrey in its last moments "You don't know what it's like." He continued speaking without thinking about it first "If you cared so much for Gallifrey why did you run away?" His eyes snapped open and he froze as he realised that was probably up there with worst possible things to say.

The Master watched him, amused by the level of fear the Doctor had towards him. "I had to" he replied, his glare was strong but it didn't reach his eyes which were avoiding the Doctor's. "They brought me back to life to fight for them. The Master, the perfect solider, that's what they thought. But they didn't understand, _you _don't understand. I hated Gallifrey, I had everything they stood for. I was a Time Lord but I couldn't fight for them. But I wasn't a traitor" now he met the Doctor's eyes, the unspoken _unlike you _hung between them. "I couldn't fight against them, so I ran."

"I'm sorry." The Doctor said.

"Sorry?" he repeated, "You're 'sorry'?" He shook his head "Perhaps when we were in the Academy _Theta_" he practically spat the Doctor's old name "perhaps then such an inadequate five letter little word would have had some meaning but we're not little kids at school on Gallifrey anymore. We'll never be on Gallifrey again because. Of. You."

"No one's called me that for a long time" the Doctor said, trying to pull away but the wall was directly behind him. "Not since the Academy. Lifetimes ago."

"Back before you committed genocide." The Master muttered.

The Doctor flinched but nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, back before the War. What about you? Anyone called you Koschei since the Academy?"

"I am the Master and nothing else" the Master told him, "I think if anyone called me that now I'm probably kill them without even thinking about it"

"What about me?" the Doctor asked. He appeared to be getting fearless, saying things which would probably get a negative reaction from the Master but in truth he was getting careless. He didn't care how the Master reaction. "What if I called you Koschei?"

The Master glared, pure anger written in his eyes "I'd kill you…" the anger left his eyes quickly, a more vulnerable look entering them momentarily "If I didn't love you." The anger returned instantly "And you can forget you ever heard that." He glared.

The Doctor stared at him, his eyes wide and shock written over his face. He shook his head slowly, trying to make sense of the words. "No I can't."

The Master continued to glare at the Doctor, the bitterness re-entering his voice "I may love you but I hate you a lot more."

"I don't blame you for hating me but what if…" the Doctor said and paused. He met the Master's eyes and continued with a stronger voice "What if I told you I love you too?"

The Master didn't reply instantly and the Doctor watched him carefully, wondering what he was thinking. "I-" the Master started but stopped no knowing what to say. He continued with the only think he'd ever known: anger. "You're everything I despise in life. You're pathetic, you're cowardly, you're an emotional wreck, you're a hypocrite but worst of all… Worst of all…"

The Master cut off and grabbed the Doctor, pulling him close to him and kissing him quickly, deeply, passionately. "Worst of all" he hissed, in the Doctor's ear "You're everything I need."

"I know" the Doctor whispered, letting the Master kiss him deeply, letting the Master wrap his arms around his neck. After a moment he even kissed him back. "Gallifrey's gone"

The Master tensed and growled, pulling away from the Doctor, his arms still looped around his neck. He scowled at him.

"I can't change that" the Doctor continued. "But I'm here now…"

The Master let out a small, humourless, bitter laugh "My own little piece of Gallifrey" he muttered, sarcasm entering his voice as he added "And what a great piece I got."

The Master pushed the Doctor to the ground, and leaning over him he kissed him, like he was a drowning man and the Doctor was oxygen that could save him.

* * *

**A/N: This started as something to write because I was annoyed and wanted to take it out on a fictional character (Sorry Doctor), but then it progressed and became a little obsession which me writing all through the college day and all evening until it was done. I've never wrote a Doctor/Master fanfic before because I worry about writing the Master OOC but I think I've done ok, but I'm going to need you to let me know. Please R&R,**

**Love ya, Carly. x**


	2. Chapter 2

The Master pulled away from the Doctor. He had one hand either side of the Doctor propping himself up and looking down at the Doctor "You really are pathetic" he told him. "You're completely covered in cuts and bruises and yet you didn't even fight back. What sort of fight is it when the other person doesn't fight back? You gave no reaction apart from those pathetic, little tears. You're like a little girl" the Master roughly wiped a tear from the Doctor's cheek.

The Doctor blinked, only just aware that he was crying. He silently wished the rest of his tears would stay inside. "Sorry" he whispered.

"Don't" the Master warned. "Just don't" he moved away from the Doctor, standing up and leaning against the nearest wall. "Don't apologise. You can never make up for it so just do us both a favour and don't try to."

The Doctor had slowly sat up while the Master was talking, "I have to" he replied "You have to know that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" he wiped away the last few stray tears.

"Just shut up" the Master said, "Shut up! I don't want to hear it."

The Doctor stayed quiet this time.

"Better"

"I'm going to get cleaned up" the Doctor said, quietly, starting to stand up. He didn't move, waiting for the Master to reply. No reply came so after a moment the Doctor stepped towards the door.

"Theta?" the Master said, just before the Doctor opened the door. He turned back to the Master "You're mine now, remember that."

The Doctor nodded, knowing exactly what the Master meant. He was his to love, his to hate, and his to hurt. The Doctor slipped out, thinking everything through. He was all right with that, if it meant he got exactly what he needed then he would've been all right with anything. He wasn't alone anymore and nothing could make him regretful of that.

He entered the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror for a moment. A bruise had formed around his left eye, on his right cheek and on his jaw; his bottom lip was cut and there was dried blood between his nose and his mouth. He began gently wiping the blood away, wincing the whole time.

Once he'd got rid of the blood, he headed to the TARDIS wardrobe where he stripped pulled off his pin-stripe jacket and shirt. He examined the various bruises across his arms, chest and stomach. He pulled on a clean shirt and his blue suit-jacket. He did the same with his trousers, examining the bruises than lined his legs, before pulling on the blue trousers. He sighed, he didn't look as injured as he did when the Time War ending. No, he amended the wording in his head, as when _he ended _the Time War. But he still looked pretty hurt. He had meant what he said though, nothing could hurt more than the pain he carried around all the time.

Once he was redressed he headed further into the TARDIS wardrobe and took a seat amongst the clothes, not knowing what to do. After a while the Master found him there.

"Hiding from me, Theta?" he asked. He was a lot calmer than he had been, his tone was almost playful.

The Doctor didn't look at him "Please don't call me that."

"But I want to" the Master said and pouted. He sat down beside the Doctor and smiled "And anyway you didn't answer my question: are you hiding from me?"

The Doctor shook his head.

"Good" the Master said. "D'you wanna… do something?"

The Doctor didn't reply, he seemed to be wondering about what the Master meant by "something". He didn't want to agree to something he could come to regret, although he knew he wold have little choice.

"Theta!" the Master sighed exasperatedly, he began tapping subconsciously on the Doctor's knee "You know what your problem is? You either never shut up or never say anything"

"Sor-" the Doctor stopped himself.

He placed his hand over the Master's gently stopping his tapping. The Master turned his hand over and closed his fingers over the Doctor's almost curiously, the Doctor automatically locked his fingers around the Master's as well. The Master barely even noticed the slip up. He looked down at their entwined hands, then back up at the Doctor. He opened his mouth to say anything but closed it again.

"What is it?" the Doctor asked.

"Nothing" replied the Master.

"Master, talk to me"

"Don't tell me what to do" the Master snapped. He sighed, "Come on, let's go somewhere" He stood up, pulling the Doctor up with him.

"Where to?" the Doctor asked as the Master led the way to the console room.

"You'll see" the Master replied. He let go of the Doctor's hand, running around the console hitting buttons, a scheming look on his face the whole time.

"Master…" the Doctor said, "Where are we going?"

"Come on, Theta, where's your sense of adventure" the Master ran back around and pulled the Doctor to the seats by the consol. "Sit back, relax" he pushed the Doctor into the seat "You'll see when we get there"

The Doctor automatically stood back up and stepped towards the console with the plan of seeing where they were destined for.

"No!" the Master stood directly between the Doctor and the console, knowing the Doctor wouldn't push past him "Just sit down and wait"

"You're not going to do anything stupid as you?"

"What? Like destroy Gallifrey? Oh no, wait, that was you?"

The Doctor just looked at him, not sure why he was shocked at the Master's words. "Where are we going?"

The Master's face lit up "You really want to know?" the Doctor nodded "We're going to the constellation of Kasterborous."

Pure horror quickly followed the realisation on the Doctor's face "No! You can't! You can't go there"

"I can do whatever I want actually!" The Master told him. "Tell me, have you been back? Have you seen what it's like now?"

"Of course not!" the Doctor replied, his voice depicting all the horror and fear he was feeling. "I has to be left. It has to"

"No, no, no, Theta, what _has _to happen is me and you going to see it now. Going to see what you did to our planet."

"I can tell you! I can tell you what it's like" the Doctor argued desperately "I'll never forget what it was like, I never could. I don't need to see it again."

"_I _need to see it" the Master told him, anger growing rapidly. "And you deserve to see it. We are going and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Fine." The Doctor agreed bitterly, taking a step back and sitting down.

"Sonic!" the Master said, hold out his hand. The Doctor looked at him, his wide eyes the picture of innocence "I'm not stupid" the Master clicked his fingers impatiently "I know you can use it to control the TARDIS. Give me the sonic screwdriver _now._"

Reluctantly, the Doctor reached into his pocket and pulled out the sonic screwdriver, which the Master snatched as soon as it was in view.

"Good" the Master said, turning back to the controls, watching the progression of the journey. "We'll be there soon" he said wondrously, his voice was excited but something else tinted it. Nerves.

"You're going to regret this" the Doctor whispered, soft but certain. "Once you see it you'll never be able to un-see it. The image will stay with you for the rest of your life. It won't go away."

The Master was about to answer when the TARDIS came to a halt. "Well, I guess your TARDIS is on _my _side" he laughed "Here we are."

"We have to leave now" the Doctor said, staring at the TARDIS doors in complete horror. "Please. Just leave."

"No. We leave when I'm ready to leave and not before" the Master told him. He walked toward the door.

"Don't do this, Master. Please, you don't know what it's like. Just walk away"

"Why should I?" he asked softly without turning to face the Doctor "Why shouldn't I be able to see what's happened to my planet?"

"Just trust me" the Doctor pleaded.

The Master swung around to face him "_Trust you? _Trust. You?" he fumed. He quickly walked back to the Doctor, "Trusting you is the last thing I would _ever _do." He grabbed the Doctor's arm and pulled him along. The Doctor struggled but he was no match for the Master, especially when he was annoyed. The Master stopped in front of the doors "Open them."

"No." the Doctor refused.

"I said _open them_"

"And I said _no_"

The Master stared at him, anger filling his dark brown eyes, but he didn't pursue it. "Fine. I'll do it myself."

"No" The Doctor pulled away from him and stood directly in front of the doors. "I won't let you do this."

"I won't let you stop me" the Master said, pulling the Doctor out of the way with ease, but keeping hold of him, making sure he was facing out when he opened the door.

The Master's grip on the Doctor instantly loosened once the door was open, but the Doctor made no attempt to move away. Both of them stared out in petrified silence. The Doctor, who had seen this sight before, struggled to fight off the flashbacks of the last time he was here. While the Master, who was new to it, found himself thinking about being a child and taken to the Untempered Schism. It has inspired and hurt him so deeply because in it he had seen everything, but this was worse, this was so much worse, because this was nothing.

The TARDIS was floating in the empty space of the constellation of Kasterborous, like a tiny moon trying to find its way around a lost planet. The only thing visible from the TARDIS was the two suns which Gallifrey had once orbited and otherwise empty space.

The Doctor looked away first, though the image followed him even when he closed his eyes. He opened them only a minute later and tried to push the TARDIS doors shut. The Master grabbed his arm to stop him, never looking away, moving almost as though he were a robot.

"Don't" he whispered, his voice more emotional and pained than the Doctor had ever heard it. He wasn't anger here, he was vulnerable.

"Stop looking" the Doctor told him. "Let me close the doors and just stop looking"

The Master shook his head, "No. I have to, Doctor, I have to see."

"Master, this isn't going to help anything" the Doctor reasoned, "Let me close the doors"

"No."

This time the Doctor ignored him and when he tried to push the door shut the Master didn't stop him. Once the doors were shut, the Master blinked as though breaking out of a trance. A stray tear fell from his eye which he wiped away furiously instantly. He turned to the Doctor.

"There's nothing. Absolutely nothing" he said, his voice hollow. "_You _did that? _You?_" he almost didn't seem to believe it. His voice steadily became more bitter "How could you? How could a _coward _like you do something that destructive?"

The Doctor purposely avoided the question "It's worse now, isn't it?" he said, "Now you've seen it, now you can't deny it even to yourself. You can't pretend that it's all some dream that you're going to wake up from. You can't pretend that you're choosing not to go back but that you could. Now you've seen it so you can't. You should never have-"

"Let me see" the Master said simply, quietly as though re-entering the previous trance, reaching for the door but the Doctor kept his hand on it, stopping him.

"No, you don't need to look again" The Doctor replied. He knew how easily the Master could have moved him to open the door and he knew the fact that the Master didn't try meant he didn't really want to look again. The Master's eyes were wide and glassy and the Doctor knew he was still seeing the empty space.

He took the Master's hand and led him up the TARDIS, sitting him down on the seats by the console. "I'm going to just take us into the vortex, all right?"

The Master stared at him blankly, muttering about Gallifrey being gone.

The Doctor set the controls watching the Master from across the console. He patting the TARDIS, faintly comforted by the familiar noise and movement. Once she was set in motion the Doctor went back to the Master. He crouched down in front of him.

"Master…" he said softly but got no reply "Master" still nothing "Koschei" this got the Master to look at him, but he still didn't say or do anything. Then the Doctor said the only thing he knew would definitely get a reaction "I'm sorry."

The Master automatically hit out and although he thought he would the Doctor didn't have enough time to move out the way. "I told you not to see that." The Master told him, looking at him properly now "Don't you ever listen?"

"I had to get your attention" the Doctor shrugged, standing up "I had to know you're all right. Are you?"

"Just peachy" the Master replied with sarcasm. "Don't pretend you care when you're the one who caused this. Anyway, I believe I asked you a question earlier which you didn't answer. How could a coward like you do something so destructive?"

* * *

**A/N: When I started this it was supposed to be a one-shot, but the story had other ideas. Hope you like it, please R&R :)**

**Carly. x **


	3. Chapter 3

"You don't understand" the Doctor replied. He was leaning against the TARDIS control, facing the Master but looking down, his red converse apparently fascinating "You couldn't possibly understand. You weren't there, you didn't see what it was like because you got scared and ran away."

The Doctor raised his head enough to be able to watch the Master but low enough to avoid eye contact. A dangerously glare was set on the Master's face, he was watching the Doctor carefully, his expression an instant warning, silently telling the Doctor not to mess with him. "Then tell me, tell me what could possibly happen which would make destroying Gallifrey seem like a good idea?"

The Doctor's head shot up, he stared at the Master, shock and sadness written in his deep brown eyes, his voice was bitter "A good idea? A _good _idea? Do you really think that even for a moment I thought it was a good idea?"

"I don't know, did you?" the Master replied, staring him out.

"Of course not" the Doctor answered, his words coming out too quick, his gaze dropping from the Master.

The Master jumped up "You're lying" he said, stepping towards the Doctor, stopping directly in front of him. The Doctor put his arms up in an automatic action to protect himself. "Don't you _dare _lie to me, Theta" he grabbed the Doctor's arms and pushing him against a wall. "Tell me the truth."

The Doctor struggled to pull his arms away from the Master but while he was taller it didn't make him stronger "I'll explain if you let go of me."

The Master didn't move except to tighten his grip and to raise his eyebrow, silently daring the Doctor to continue to challenge him.

The Doctor didn't dare, he closed his eyes, instantly finding himself back on Gallifrey two lives back. "Everything was burning, the Citadel was falling apart and yet it was the least damaged place in the whole of Gallifrey. Koschei, it was horrific, there was fire everywhere, people were pleading for someone to end it, they just wanted it to be over. The things people were being forced to witness, they couldn't bear it. I think suicide killed as many people as murder did in the worst hit areas. People went mad just so they could cope, others lost themselves, found themselves enjoying it. I was one of those, I lost myself in that War. I became a monster, I _enjoyed _it, I enjoyed the killing. And I had a thought, just a flying thought. A thought caused through complete insanity, complete desperation and want of complete power"

He opened his eyes, searching the Master's dark brown eyes for understanding but finding only anger. He struggled to continue "I thought I could kill them, kill them all. I'd survive, I'd have the ultimate victory. I'd be the Time Lord victorious" he felt the Master's grip tighten on his wrists to the point where it was painful. Part of him wished the Master would just hit him because he knew it would hurt less than the hatred he saw in the Master's eyes. He avoided the Master gaze when he continued "But it was just a flying thought and it stopped it, it terrified me. It opened my eyes to what I have become, it opened my eyes to what the War was doing to people. Destroying Gallifrey had seemed like a good idea and that wasn't right. But it was then that I realised that it had to be done. The War was destroying everyone, the level of pain, everything, it had to be stopped. I had to stop it."

"And how did it feel, Doctor? Was it the complete power you longed for? Did you feel like a god?" the Master asked, letting go of one of the Doctor's arms so he could use his hand to pull the Doctor's chin up, forcing him to look at him. He saw the tears pricking at the Doctor's eyes and the silent desperation calling out at him not to do this but he ignored it. "Were you awestruck by the beauty of the destruction you'd caused?"

"I felt like a monster, I felt like a selfish cowardly monster and I was so scared. You have no idea what it's like to be that alone, to _feel _that alone."

"Don't tell me I don't know what it's like, we're in the same position because of what you did. I'm just as alone as you are."

"No." the Doctor instantly disagreed. "No words can explain it. It felt like the universe no longer existed, it felt like with Gallifrey gone there was nothing else anywhere at all. So many great civilisations fell in the Time War and when it was over, there was just… nothing. I was completely alone in the universe." He used his free arm to reach up and gently touch the Master's face "until you came back."

The Master smacked his hand away "Would you do it again?" he asked.

It could the Doctor a moment to realise what the Master was asking and when he did he didn't answer. He couldn't answer.

"Theta."

The Doctor shook his head "I'm not answering that… I can't"

"Theta!"

The Doctor nodded shakily. "Y-Yes."

"You would destroy Gallifrey again if you had the chance to redo it?" the Master repeated.

The Doctor nodded, the tears finally broke through, "I- it wasn't a good idea but it was the right thing to do."

The Master let go and stepped away from him in disgust. The Doctor realised that the Master holding him was all that was keeping him upright when he began to slip. He lent against the wall and kept himself upright.

"I had t-"

"You don't even regret it, do you?" the Master commented. He was pacing up and down a few steps. "If you regretted it you'd want to change it, you'd want to make it right again. But you don't. You didn't deserve to survive."

"Kill me then" the Doctor said, his voice was almost a plea. "Because you're wrong about everything else, I do regret it, I'd give anything to be able to undo it, to find some other way out but there is no other way. I've ran through it in my head a million times since it happened and each time I've come to the same conclusion: destroying Gallifrey was the only way to end it. I knew it was necessary but it was still the worst thing I've ever had to do. Nothing can play it down, nothing can make it all right because back there is empty space, two suns with no Gallifrey to orbit them because of me. But I was the only one thinking sensibly enough to do the stupidest thing ever" the Doctor walked forward and grabbed the Master's head, forcing him to stop pacing, forcing him to look at him "I can't bear it. Humans, they say _time heals, _but they haven't got the first clue about Time. Nothing can heal this, nothing can make this better, I can never forgive myself. But yeah, you were right, the one thing you were right about, I didn't deserve to survive. So kill me, Master. Please."

The Master placed his hands over the Doctor's, pulling the Doctor's hand away from his face before letting go of them and letting them fall limp. "No" he replied, both his expression and his tone of voice were softer than they had been "I'm not killing you." He wrapped his arm around the Doctor's waist feeling him shaking in his arms. "You're not getting out that easily."

The Doctor buried his head in the Master's shoulder, dampening his jacket, and wrapped his arms around the Master, pulling him close. He was shocked that the Master didn't pull away, but rather just stayed there for a while holding him.

"Do you really want to die, Theta?"

The Doctor nodded against the Master's shoulder.

"Why haven't you then?"

"'cause I was all that was left, I felt like I had to survive for there to be something of Gallifrey still alive." The Doctor replied quietly "Why won't you kill me? You hate me, you said I didn't deserve to survive so why not just kill me?"

"Because I…" The Master started and then stop, not willing to admit to the Doctor that he didn't want to be alone. Eventually he settled for "Because."

"That's not a reason." The Doctor pointed out, his voice still quiet.

"Well it's the only one you're getting." The Master replied, pulling away from him.

The Doctor automatically tried to pull him close again, not wanting him to go anyway, but the Master ignored him, stepping back to put some space between them. He reached up and wiped the last few tears from the Doctor's eyes, "You need to…" he trailed off, not knowing what he wanted to saying, not knowing how to stop hating the Doctor enough to start loving him, not knowing how to forgive him, not knowing if he really wanted to. "Just…" he shook his head, grabbed the Doctor and pulling him into a kiss, letting the action speak the words he couldn't say.

"Come with me." He whispered after a moment, and taking the Doctor's hand led him to the bedroom.

* * *

**A/N: I love Skillet. That seems random right? Well it's not that random. Because, I meant to say this in chapter one and forgot, so here I am in chapter 3 saying it, Skillet's song **_**Sometimes **_**gave me so much inspiration for this fic. I think it needs a shout out, so go youtube it! And please R&R :) **


	4. Chapter 4

The Doctor learnt in the next few hours that the Master was the same in bed as he was in everyday life: possessive and desperate for control. And the Doctor hadn't fought it, he wanted and needed it as much as the Master did.

When he woke the next morning, he found the Master lying facing him with one hand behind his back and the other draped over his stomach. He watched the Master sleeping, regret coursing through him, regret about the Time War and regret about everything. Regret mostly about the little actions and small decisions which caused Theta and Koschei, best friends, to become the Doctor and the Master, best enemies.

Even in his sleep the Master seemed agitated and tense like he could never allow himself to relax. In this the Doctor knew they were exactly the same, not that he would ever have said that to the Master. He wished he could help the Master; it broke his hearts knowing the Master would rather die than accept his help.

Gently the Doctor moved the Master's arm off his stomach and sat up. It was a few moments later before he talked himself into getting up. He wasn't sure if the Master would rather wake to him still there or not. In the end he got up, turned away from the bed and began dressing. Just as he was pulling his trousers up then the Master wrapped his arms around him. The Doctor flinched physically at his touch, then froze regretting it instantly. He hated that he was scared of the Master and he didn't want to make it obvious all the time.

"Going somewhere?" the Master whispered in his ear before kissing the back of his neck and sending a shiver down the Doctor's spine.

"No, I- I was just getting dressed…" he replied.

"Good."

The Doctor didn't fight when the Master pulled him around to face him, a playful smile crossed the Master's face and the Doctor only just stopped himself sighing in relief. The Master wasn't angry. For now. He forced himself to smile back, though smiling was the last thing he felt like doing. The Master took little notice and put his hands on the Doctor's face, pulling him closer and kissing him.

"We could…stay here?" the Doctor suggested, he quickly added "I mean if you want to…?"

The Master's playful smile quickly became a glare, "No." He pushed the Doctor away from him "Why would I do that because you suggested it?"

The Doctor looked at him sadly, and the Master rolled his eyes "Did you really think I'd do something _you _suggested?" He laughed bitterly and jumped off the bed. "Get dressed." He ordered as he pulled his clothes on, storming out as he did up his shirt buttons.

The Doctor watched the door for a few moments before coming to his senses and dressing. He joined the Master in the control room a few minutes later, watching him watch the screen.

"Where are we going?" the Doctor asked quietly after a moment of silence. The Master looked up at him, as though only just realising he was there but gave no answer. He quickly looked away, back at the screen. The Doctor sighed quietly and sat down, waiting.

"Astria" The Master said after a long moment in silence "We're going to Astria. It's a small planet, smaller than Gallifrey was obviously but even smaller than your precious Earth" the Doctor knew all about Astria but he stayed quiet at the Master spoke "They weren't in it, the Time War, I mean, but they were aware of it. Like me they had the sense to stay at a safe distance. But they saw parts of it. Tales of the Time War have become ghost stories to the Astrians. I want to hear them Doctor, I want to hear those ghost stories" The Doctor didn't reply and the Master continued "Because I wish I had been there, Theta, I wish I had seen it, felt it. In all my lives I've never regretted anything, out of everything I've ever done I don't regret any of it, except running away from the Time War."

"You wouldn't be saying this if you had been there" The Doctor told him.

"Yes. I would Doctor, because I'd rather have died with Gallifrey than be here now without it knowing that if I was there maybe I may have been able to make a difference" the Master bit back "Don't tell me what I would and wouldn't say or think."

The TARDIS came to a halt before the Doctor had a chance to reply. The Master automatically walked to the door, calling "Come on" back to the Doctor.

The Master opened the TARDIS door before the Doctor reached him. As soon as he did he was faced by four guns, looking above the guns he saw the Astrian people holding them were essentially Time Lord in appearance but their skin had a blue tint to it and, which he had already known, they had no gender.

"Are you the Doctor?" the tallest of the Astrian's demanded, forcing the gun under the Master's chin.

"No, I am not," the Master replied calmly. "Why? Friend of yours is he?"

"Who are you?" The Astrian asked, ignoring the Master's question.

"I am the Master" he told the Astrian. "Now would you mind moving your gun before I make you move it?"

The Astrian lowered his gun but only slightly. "Impossible. You are a Time Lord and the Time Lords died except for one. You must be the Doctor."

The Master sighed in irritation "I'm not the Doctor and I can't prove it" he took a step back and the surrounding Astrians automatically raised their guns to him again. "Look, I am inside the TARDIS which is set up against any weapons, you can't shoot me anyway so just put the guns down. I'm not going anyway, except to get your proof" he turned to the Doctor, hissing almost silently "What the hell did you do to these people?"

The Doctor looked helpless, and whispered back "I've never been here before. But you said yourself, they knew of the Time War. They probably-"

"You know what it doesn't matter, just shut up and prove that I'm not you. I'm not having anyone think that I am you" the Master interrupting, grabbing his arm and pulling him to the doorway. "This is the Doctor" he announced to the Astrians.

The guns were once again raised and this time aimed at the right target.

"Doctor, Master, you two both have explaining to do. This is highly impossible." The leader of the group told them.

"Well, not impossible since it's happening. Just a little bit unlikely and let's face it the universe is full of unlikely things" the Doctor pointed out, earning a warning glare from the Master.

"You will come with us." The leader told them.

"Will we now?" the Master replied, his voice challenging. "'Cause you see I'm not in the habit of being told what to do."

"You will come with us." The leader repeated.

"Aren't you going to tell us your names or why you're pointing guns at us?" the Doctor asked.

"You will come with us" the leader repeated once again, his tone making it perfectly clear he would not be repeating himself a fourth time.

"Yes, yes, ok, fine" the Doctor said, "But I think you'll find people a little more cooperative if you aren't pointing firearms at them."

"We know about you, Doctor, the guns are a necessary precaution."

"What do you 'know' about me?" the Doctor demanded. "If you knew anything about me you'd know I never carry weapons and am against violence."

The Master snorted at that but made no comment back. The leader's expression didn't change from the blank slate it was, "You can be dangerous without weapons and violence, Doctor, as you will know." he turned to the Master "I know not of you, Master, but you are with the Doctor and therefore must be counted as his accomplice. You will both come with us. You will not be harmed unnecessarily but you will explain this impossibility."

"Get rid of the guns" the Master said, "and we may think about it."

"You misunderstood me, it was not a request it was an order. You _will _come with us" the leader told him, signalling to the three accompanying Astrians, and two of them lowered their guns, stepped forward and grabbed hold of the Doctor and the Master, forcing them out of the TARDIS.

"Get off me." The Master insisted, struggling against the Astrian's grip, attempting to hit him off. His attempts were unsuccessful, the Astrian was a trained solider and Astrians were generally a strong race.

The Doctor on the other hand didn't struggle. He remained calm and reasonable "Look, we will willingly come to wherever you are taking us, but we'd just like to be told where exactly that is, who you are and exactly why we are going there. I don't think that's too much to ask, do you?"

"You will be taken to the Guildhall where you were be seen by the Lord Mayor. I am the Lieutenant of the Army of Astria." the leader replied, "Now you will cease speaking until the Lord Mayor requests it."

"You think I'm going to keep my mouth shut just because you tell me to?" The Master asked bitterly with a laugh.

The Doctor gave him the same warning look the Master had given him earlier on, only this one said _shut up and let me handle this. _The Master glared at him but didn't argue. The Doctor smiled sweetly at the lieutenant "As you can probably tell it takes a lot to shut us up. Now, I'm not asking for much, I'm not disrespecting your planet or your people, I'm not threatening to harm you in anyway. I am just asking for more information." He paused momentarily "And the option to walk along without being dragged."

"You will be given any extra information you require by the Lord Mayor if he so wishes to give you it." The lieutenant told him. "You are the Doctor, only survivor of the last great Time War, destroyer of worlds, committer of multiple genocides, you have no rights, you will cease talking now until the Lord Mayor wishes for you to speak." He turned to the Master "The same applies to you. You are with him and therefore it must be assumed that you work with him."

"_With _him?" the Master repeated in sheer horror. "I would never work _with him. _He destroyed Gallifrey, I would never help someone who did that, I would never help him with anything. I have no home because of him. Why would you think that I would work _with _him?"

"You are with him and therefore it must be assumed that you work with him"

The Master was clearly unimpressed and struggled against the Astrian's grip the whole time they were dragged along. The Doctor was more acceptant and went where they were pulled. The Guildhall was a stunning building at the centre of the town, a building which screamed power and importance. The two Time Lords were pulled up the stairs leading to the main door and in. The entrance room was mostly plain with white walls except the wall behind the desk which was covered by an engraving which told of the Astrian laws.

The Lieutenant spoke to the Astrian sat behind the desk whose name badge identified him as Kazumi, explaining that one of them was the Doctor and the other seemed to be another Time Lord and that they needed to see the Lord Mayor. Kazumi nodded along as he listened, his face equally blank and expression-less as the Lieutenant's was.

"I'll get him" Kazumi said and stepped around the desk and through the door.

The Doctor looked over at the Master who was staring straight ahead clearly getting more and angrier by the second. He then turned to the Lieutenant "So what's he like your Lord Mayor? A friendly bloke?"

Before the Lieutenant could reply the Lord Mayor entered the room. He was a stocky Astrian who must have been at least 6 foot 6. He looked from the Doctor to the Master and then to the Lieutenant "Why are these men not hand cuffed?"

The Lieutenant didn't reply, simply addressed the Astrians holding the Time Lords "You heard him."

"It's too late now." The Lord Mayor responded, clearly annoyed by this. "Just be glad you didn't let them go. The havoc they could've caused on Astria…"

"My apologises" the Lieutenant said.

"Bring them through." The Lord Mayor said. He had the kind of voice where everything he said was either an order or a demand. Leading the way, the Lord Mayor stepped through the door and the Astrians followed pulling the Doctor and the Master with them.

"Sit them there." The Lord Mayor nodded towards chairs on the opposite side of a long table than he was stood.

None too lightly the Doctor and the Master were forced into the seats. The moment their legs touched the chair legs metal bonds were forced around them, the same happening to their arms. The Master automatically pulled at the bonds in a vain attempt to get away.

"It is pointless struggling, Doctor, you cannot break out of them" the Lord Mayor told him.

The Master sighed, the sound portraying all the anger he was feeling "I am not the Doctor."

"Then my apologises for my mistake, you must be the Master." The Lord Mayor said "You must explain, Master, how you are not dead. He" signally the Doctor "destroyed your planet of Gallifrey and many others in the process, killing everyone there. How are you, a Time Lord, alive?"

"You really are making this out to be something it's not. I didn't survive the Time War, I was never in it" the Master replied. "I was called home for it but I refused to fight in it so I left."

"The Time Lords would've called you back surely?"

"I went to Earth, a small planet in the Milky Way. I went there and I turned myself human so they Time Lords wouldn't be able to find me" the Master explained. "I wasn't in the Time War so I didn't suffer the consequences of _his_" he practically spat the word "actions."

"And yet you are with him now? I was informed that you were found coming out of his TARDIS, is this not true?" the Lord Mayor asked.

"Yes. It's true. I am with him doesn't mean I'm working with him. It doesn't mean I agree with anything he's done. As I said before to your Lieutenant, not that he'd listen," The Master repeated himself "I am without a home because of that man's actions. I admit I have done some terrible things in the past, but I would never condone the destruction of my home world. You'd have to be a true monster to do that. Like he is."

The Doctor sat in silence as the Master said this, looking down at the table to avoid eye contact with anyone, his fingernails digging into the arm of the chair. He knew every word of that was true and he hated all of it.

"Then why are you with him?" the Lord Mayor asked. "Surely if you are so against him you wouldn't want to be anywhere near him?"

"I am with him to stop him doing anything such as that again" the Master bit back.

"Then why have you not killed him?"

The Doctor looked up at that, watching the Master carefully waiting for the answer.

"I don't believe he should get out that easily. Death is simple. Death is one action – or in the case of him, a Time Lord in his tenth life, three actions – and then it is over. However, if he has to live, he gets to suffer for longer with what he did."

The Doctor went back to staring at the table, stopping himself from sighing. He knew the Master, he was the only person in the universe who really knew the Master, and he knew that was true. The Master was keeping him alive to watch him suffer.

"And the bruises are your handiwork?"

"I said I wanted to keep him alive, I didn't say he shouldn't be punished."

"Then you agree he should be tortured for what he did?"

The Master didn't pause, even for a moment "Yes."

**A/N: Dun. Dun. Dun. R&R please everyone.**


	5. Chapter 5

The Doctor was dragged to a small cell with no windows and once he had been searched and had everything from his pockets removed he was locked in. The Lord Mayor opened the small window on the door and looked in. The Doctor was aware of him there but didn't look at him, he simply sat on the small bench and stared at the wall opposite, his hand entwined on his lap giving the appearance that he was calm.

"We are not a bad people, Doctor" the Lord Mayor told him "But you are a terrorist. You caused much pain to much of my planet and therefore this is necessary. You should be glad that you are not being treated any worse beforehand."

The Doctor continued to ignore him, staring at the wall like it was the most fascinating thing in the universe but too lost in thought to really see it.

"You don't fight against us, why is that Doctor?" asked the Lord Mayor, curiosity entering into his voice.

"It would make no difference." replied the Doctor without looking at him. "If I told you that I did what I did to end the suffering it would make no difference so why should I bother?" he turned to look at him "Let the Master go. What he said was true, he hates me for what I did, he doesn't deserve to be punished for my actions."

"You are in no position to be giving orders, Doctor." The Lord Mayor told him being slamming the window closed.

"You said you're not a bad people then let him go." The Doctor said quietly and calmly to the closed window.

He heard the Lord Mayor's footsteps retreat and was alone with his thoughts. It wasn't being in a cell he had a problem with, it wasn't the fact that he was going to be tortured, it was the Master's agreement. He knew the Master hated him and what he did but he would never have expected that. That hurt more than any torture the Astrians put him through possibly could.

FG

"What are you planning?" the Master asked the moment the Lord Mayor was back in the room. He had been let out of the confines of the chair and instantly rounded on the Lord Mayor.

The Lord Mayor stepped back from him, his expression clearly blank "He will be made to feel the pain he caused."

"Let him go." The Master said.

"No. The Doctor must be punished for the actions he took."

"I don't disagree with that, but he is a Time Lord and that makes him my responsibility." The Master replied.

"You have handed that responsibility over to the people of Astria."

"I have done no such thing." The Master argued. "I am the only Time Lord left aside from him and that makes him my responsibility. What happens to him is up to me not you."

"You agreed that he deserves to be punished and in doing so you handed over the responsibility. It is in our hands now." explained the Lord Mayor.

"Now you listen to me, I don't care what rules you have on your tiny little excuse for a planet but I am the last surviving Time Lord who except for him and that makes the Doctor my responsibility and I will keep saying that until you bloody well listen to me." The Master raged.

"And I will keep repeating to you until you understand, you handed over the responsibility to us and therefore it is now out of your hands."

The Master forced himself to calm down, placing a reassuring hand on the Lord Mayor's shoulder "Look," he spoke softly "I understand the pain you feel because of the Time War and the actions the Doctor took. I do, I woke up at the end of the universe to discover that my planet was gone, all my people dead except for him because _he _did it. He's the one who destroyed all of my people."

"Then you understand-"

"I'm not done" The Master said simply, glaring pointedly at the Lord Mayor warning him to stay quiet. "He destroyed everything, but I'm still here and I'm a Time Lord and therefore it is up to me to uphold the rules and beliefs of the High Council of Time Lords. We don't allow Time Lords to be punished outside of Gallifrey." The Master angry expression wavered to distress for just a second and he amended "Or in this case outside of the only other surviving member of the race…" he regained his previous composure "Therefore the Doctor is my responsibility and I cannot allow this to happen."

"With due respect," the Lord Mayor replied, his tone calm and reasonable, "Gallifrey is no longer there and their laws no longer apply."

"Then you are as much as a hypocrite as the Doctor is." The Master told him. "What happens to him now is my responsibility, you will hand him over."

"I will not." The Lord Mayor said. "No you have two choices, Master, you can leave Astria now or you can stay and get make acquaintances with my people. You will be made welcome, it has been a long time since we have had a Time Lord in our midst."

"You will not get-" the Master cut off, and smile friendlily "Thank you, I think I'll stick around for a while. Perhaps your people are more agreeable than you are."

He walked off, not looking back when the Lord Mayor added "We are only doing what is necessary."

The Master left the Guildhall and aimed for the city centre.

FG

The Doctor was left in the small cell for a few hours. He looked around for some way to escape but he knew without the Sonic it was useless and quickly gave up. Instead he simply sat and waiting for whatever was going to happen with him. Maybe he'd be able to reason with the Lord Mayor? He doubted it, but when the time came he would at least try.

FG

The Master got talking to an Astrian by the name of Hastica, with a young child called Bele. Hastica spoke of the Time War with a distant look in his eyes and a sad tone which told of his understanding and yet distance, something the Master could easily relate with.

"We could see the burning from Astria," Hastica explained. "We stayed out of it, we owed nothing to Gallifrey or Skaro and frankly we didn't want to fight. We'd been in a civil war for three generations before the Lord Mayor ended it and brought us to peace. That War was too raw in our memories so we stayed away. We knew the Time War would be worse and it was, we could see it."

The Master stayed quiet as Hastica spoke. He really wanted to hear about Gallifrey and he knew he was unlikely to get that from Hastica but he stayed listen anywhere, he would take anything that could bring him any closer to knowing about the Time War.

"Other planets from our solar system burnt in that War. Our defences were all that stopped us being incinerated with them. And they were our friends, our allies. Short range space travel was popular on Astria, nothing compared to what you're used to being a Time Lord, but it was enough for us, it was all we needed. Holidays and visits to those planets and they're not even there anymore."

Hastica sniffed, and the Master looked up at him, noticing the tears pricking his eyes and the pain written on his face and again the Master could relate. He never cared for Gallifrey when it was there, but there was a comfort in knowing it was there, without it he felt lost.

"Sorry, it's still a bit raw." Hastica added quickly, clearly feeling stupid for getting emotional. The Master shook his head understandingly to show it was fine and Hastica continued. "I think it's going to be at least a couple of generations before it's not raw. Getting used to not having that. The friends there no longer being there, it's hard. Sometimes I think death is easier than living."

The Master thought about that for a moment, he was in complete agreement. He was sure he'd rather have died with Gallifrey than be here now without it. Did that make him a hypocrite because he never cared before? He didn't know. He didn't care. All he knew was he couldn't get the image of the empty space that should've been Gallifrey out of his head.

"What about the Doctor?" The Master asked, meeting Hastica's eyes for the first time since he'd started talking. "What do you think for him?"

Hastica hesitated "I can't talk about the Doctor."

The Master watched him, noting the fear in his eyes "Why not?"

"Come with me." Hastica said. He scooped Bele into his arms gently from his sleeping position on Hastica's lap. He stood up and led the Master away from the crowd, into a deserted back street. "We are not to speak of the Doctor unless to attack him. His name has become like that of the devil's to Astria."

"Because he destroyed them?"

"The Doctor is hated because of what he did but I don't see him as the monster" Hastica continued in a hushed voice "I think the real monster is…" he stopped and shook his head "Never mind." Before continuing, "I think he was very brave and I think he must be going through a living hell constantly now but the way I see it, it was necessary." Hastica looked around paranoidly "We got some messages from our friends during the War, there were two kinds. Most people couldn't cope, they were falling apart, the horrors, they said, had no words to describe them and the others? The others were corrupted by it, enjoyed it, they weren't themselves anymore. If they could've seen themselves they would've hated it and they would've been glad at him ending it."

The Master followed suit and kept his voice hushed, waiting for a more appropriate time to ask why they were doing so. "Not many people would appreciate multiple genocide." He commented.

"No, but no other situation is like the Time War. They were dying anyway or worse they were surviving, they wanted it to be over. The Doctor, to me, is the hero who realised that and had the bravery to save everyone." Hastica suddenly looked very fearful, his eyes widening and his grip on Bele tightening protectively, "Please don't tell anyone I said that."

"Why are you so scared?" the Master asked.

"Don't you know anything of this planet?" Hastica asked bitterly, then looked apologetic and continued quietly "The Lord Mayor is seen by the main as a hero, but the main are brainwashed." He stopped, the fear over taking again.

"I'm not going to tell anyone what you're saying," the Master reassured him.

"He ended the civil war, yes, and we were grateful for he was harsh in it. He ended it by near destroying one side. And when it was over he was practically a dictator. The death penalty is his favourite form of punishment. That or torture" Hastica shuddered and the Master guessed he was talking from experience. "Anyone from Astria thought to be supporting the Doctor or basically having thoughts of their own is hanged as a traitor."

"And people think this guy is good?" The Master was impressed at the level of control the Lord Mayor had over them and how he was using it, but also worried by it. He knew he had to get past the Lord Mayor to get the Doctor out. And he knew, looking at Hastica and Bele, that they didn't deserve to live like that, but he didn't really care enough to stop them. He knew the only reason he cared at all was because he had been around the Doctor so long.


	6. Chapter 6

The Lord Mayor eventually went to the Doctor's cell with two guards, both of which waited in the doorway. The Doctor stood up as soon as the Lord Mayor arrived but didn't get the chance to speak before the Lord Mayor said "Don't even think about escaping, Doctor."

"Didn't plan to," the Doctor replied simply. "Just planned to talk. And you, being a reasonable man, would be willing to listen," there was just the faintest hint of sarcasm in the Doctor's voice.

"I don't listen to terrorists."

The Doctor continued as if he hadn't spoken "See, I know about Astria and I know about you. You stopped the war, didn't you?" he didn't wait for an answer to his clearly rhetorical question "History sees you as a hero, but then history gets it wrong quite often. You're-"

"I'm not going to allow _you _to criticise _me, _Doctor. Any disagreeable action I have taken can be justified by a quick look around Astria," interrupted the Lord Mayor, clearly irritated "My planet is at peace because of me."

"Do you know much of Time Lords? Just out of curiosity," the Doctor asked, "I don't you do know this but we can see everything. Everything that's fixed and everything that's in flux. Every possible future and past and present. And I can tell you, you're not the hero history paints you as. And the end _never _justifies the means."

The Lord Mayor's mouth twitched in amusement "So multiple genocide can't be justified by the ending of the suffering?"

The Doctor was taken aback by this and didn't answer for a moment before finally admitting "Well, no, it can't."

"Maybe I'm not the hero people think I am, but neither are you, Doctor." The Lord Mayor met the Doctor's eyes to ask "Which of us is really the monster?"

"I never claimed to be a hero, I just do what I can to help people. Maybe on some level that's because I'm trying to make up for what I did but at least that's better than ruling a planet by fear," the Doctor retorted.

"Get off your high horse, Doctor, and shut up." The Lord Mayor smirked, "Now, I am here for a reason, by the way, it wasn't just a social visit to discuss the universe."

The Doctor sighed, and replied with bitter sarcasm "Oh do tell, I'm fascinated to know."

"We're ready for you, the torture room is prepared."

The Doctor's face fell, "Surely we can talk about this? This is unnecessary."

"I have a strong believe that no action must go unpunished," the Lord Mayor told him.

"Torture is never a necessity just let me go." The Doctor said, a hint of desperation in his voice. "I won't bring any harm to Astria."

The Lord Mayor shook his head "Perhaps not but you already have. So much harm to our plant and that must be punished."

"The Time Lords would never be in agreement of this" the Doctor tried a different tactic but the Lord Mayor was un-phased.

"And yet the Master is," he replied simply, watching the Doctor for a moment.

The Doctor went quiet at that, unable to respond to it.

The Lord Mayor laughed lightly and turned to the guards "Take him." He ordered and watched at the guards grabbed the Doctor.

The Doctor struggled against the guards but they were both bigger and stronger than he was and he knew even if he got out of their grip he wouldn't be able to get anywhere.

FG

The Master watched Hastica carefully when he asked "Speaking hypothetically, if I were to say the Doctor was on Astria and the Lord Mayor had him with the plan of torturing him and I needed to get him out of there, would you be willing to help?"

"No," Hastica answered without so much as a moment's pause.

The Master looked at him challengingly, "Why?"

"Because I value my life."

"And there I was thinking you were a man willing to make a stand, a man with strong opinions who wasn't willing to put up with the way this world was and would be willing to make a difference," the Master said, Hastica was about to interrupt but the Master didn't give him a chance, "Looks like I was wrong, you're just one of those people who claims to have beliefs but when push comes to shove it willing to abandon them and go along with whatever gives you a quiet life."

"I have a son." Hastica replied quietly, pulling Bele closer to him, "My first priority has to be to protect him. I can't protect him if I'm dead."

"Exactly." The Master told him, "That is exactly why you should speak out against it. Do you really what your son growing up with the same level of fear our generation lives in? Could you really live with yourself knowing you could've helped make a difference and didn't?"

"Yes. I could," Hastica was blunt, "because I'd be a coward but I'd be an alive coward."

"Your son deserves better," the Master told him and stormed off.

FG

The Doctor was dragged to a small room which was empty save the chains hanging from the far wall. His hands were cuffed to the end of these chains with his back to the room after his shirt was pulled off. A gag had been put around his mouth stopping anything he may've wanted to say.

He tried to mentally prepare himself for what he knew was coming. He knew the Lord Mayor was behind him with a long whip in his hand. He heard the whip drawn back and thrown forward and waited for the pain to set in. He physically flinched at the sound and wondered why he didn't feel it.

The Lord Mayor let out a laugh, "Next time it won't be the wall."

The Doctor couldn't reply and wouldn't have even if he hadn't been gagged. He knew his whole body was tense but there was no way he could relax. He wasn't afraid of being hit or whipped, during and since the Time War he had dealt with so much pain that adding to it physically made no different to him. It was not knowing that bothered him. Not knowing when the hits would come or how many there would be or when it would end, it reminded him of being in the Time War. Unspeakable horrors were behind every corner, unknowing and uncontrollable.

SNAP!

The Doctor could say one thing about the Lord Mayor and that was what he was an honest man. The whip hit and cut the Doctor's back, his scream was silenced by the gag, which on some level he was grateful for. The whip hit him again and again, each hit coming quickly after the previous until the Doctor lost count of how many times he was hit. His back burnt and stung like fire was racing through every cut. The pain intensified with each hit, previous cuts retargeted and increased until his back was more cuts than skin. The Doctor groaned and winced in pain, little whimpers escaped through the gag not expressing the level of pain he was feeling.

Eventually the Lord Mayor stopped, breathing heavily as if the task had worn him out. He dropped the whip and waited until he had caught his breath before speaking. "Well that was fun," he said brightly, "I'll be back later."

He walked out, allowing the door to slam behind him.

FG

The Master hid in the back streets, sitting in an abandoned doorway. He pulled the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket, trying to figure out the basics of how it worked. The technology of it wasn't difficult but he wasn't used to it. It was different to most things he used, it wasn't a weapon, even he struggled to find a way that it could be used as a weapon. He was slightly disappointed by that, hating to be unarmed, but having taken it from the Doctor he wasn't surprised. Still he worked out how to work it pretty quickly.

As soon as he had worked it out he jumped to his feet, and set off. He walked through the streets of Astria as though he was another citizen, knowing that the best way to be unnoticed was to not make yourself noticeable. He headed directly for the Town Hall but this time aimed for the back door.

All around the back the Town Hall was a 6 foot thick red brick wall. _Inviting _the Master thought bitterly as he jumped to reach the top of the wall and hauled himself onto it. Once he was up he didn't pause before jumping off the other side and heading toward the back door.

It was of no surprise that it was locked, but it was a surprise how quiet and clean the sonic was. The Master was used to noise and destruction, this was so different. It reminded him of just how different the Doctor was to him. _And yet _his mind added bitterly, _it was the Doctor who destroyed Gallifrey. _He ignored this and let himself in.

He found himself in an old corridor which looked as though it hadn't been used for many years, it was dark and dirty, giving the Master the chance to find another use of the sonic screwdriver as a torch, guiding him. He also found he was able to use it to alert him if anyone was coming and when he was near the Doctor. He wondered along the corridor what felt aimlessly and turned left at the end.

FG

The Doctor was fighting with himself in an attempt not to cry. The tears were stinging his eyes and he was tempted just to let them fall and be done with it, but he didn't want to. He had cried enough because of the War and everything since. He was fed up with it. But it hurt, his back still felt like it was raging with fire, his hearts were heavy and his mind wouldn't stop replaying the events of the Time War.

He automatically tensed when he heard the door open, the shock of the sound sending a couple stray tears down the Doctor's cheeks. It made him thankful he was facing the wall so he didn't have to face the Lord Mayor laughing at him about it.

"Theta?" the voice and the word weren't the ones he had been expecting. "Dear Rassilon." The Master's tone spoke of his horror at what he saw. The Doctor's back was barely visable for all the blood, there were countless cuts. "I swear if I get my hands on him I will…" the Master fumed but trailed off. Anger coursed through his body. How _dare _anyone else think they had the right to so much as touch his Doctor, let alone whip his back to strips?

The Master looked past his back and at the Doctor, noting the gag tightly tied around his mouth and moved to untie it, lightly joking as he did so "No wonder you're so quiet, I should've know there'd be something stopping you talking as opposed to it being a choice," he struggled with the knot, trying to avoid looking at the Doctor's back "bloody hell, Astrians sure know how to tie them. Ah ha!" he finally got it undone and pulled it off.

The Doctor stayed quiet and the Master used the sonic to free his hands. As soon as both were free the Doctor slipped and fell to the ground, all strength gone. The Master went to put his arm around him to help him up, but he flinched away, an angry and hurt look on his face.

"Theta?" the Master asked in confusion.

"My name is the Doctor," he replied, placing his hands on the wall to support himself up, before turning back to face the Master "You come in here like a hero and what? I'm supposed to be grateful? What do you want me to say? 'Thank you, Master, thanks for _letting this happen_'?"

"I didn't-" irritation crept into the Master's voice but the Doctor was too angry to let him speak.

"You called me a traitor to Gallifrey but allowing this? Going against the one thing the Time Lords truly believed in what does that make you?" the Doctor raged, his hands leaning against the wall for support, stopping his back from touching it, "I'll tell you what. It makes you an insult to Gallifrey's memory. I get that you hate me, I get it, you've made it abundantly clear but _this? _You're a hypocrite, you judge me and let look at you, look at everything you-"

The Master cut him off, only just stopping himself from slapping him in annoyance, "Would you shut up and listen for a moment?" the Doctor stayed quiet and let him continue. "I didn't agree to this. No one but me has the right to hurt you. Ever. I would NEVER agree to this. You stupid idiot, do you really think that little of me? Do you really think I would disgrace Gallifrey's name like that? And if I had agreed to this I wouldn't have bothered coming back. I wouldn't have argued with the Lord Mayor, I wouldn't have tried to convince a terrified native to help me. So don't you _dare _think you have the right to judge me on the actions I have taken."

The Doctor opened his mouth to apologise but the Master stopped him "And I told you to stop saying sorry," he paused momentarily "Can you walk?"

The Doctor stood up properly and took a step forward before nodding.

"Good, we're getting out of here."


	7. Chapter 7

They made it as far as the room's door when they were met by the Lord Mayor, an amused smirk on his face, "Going somewhere?"

They both stopped, the Doctor lent sideways against the wall to support himself while the Master glared at the Lord Mayor and spoke as if talking to a simpleton, "Yes, we are actually, out of here."

The Lord Mayor laughed at this "I don't think so."

"I do," the Master shrugged and hit him over the head with a force that knocked him out. He turned to the Doctor, grabbed his arm "Come on," he said before pulling him through the corridors of the Guildhall. The Doctor followed him, glad for the support the Master's grip on his arm gave him, sure he wouldn't be able to stay upright, let alone get out without it.

The Master took him out the back way, the same way he had snuck in and stopped just before the 6 foot wall they had to get over to get out. The Doctor stared at it, unsure he had the strength to pull himself over it. At the sound of shouting he looked back and saw a number of armed guards following them.

"Up or I'm leaving you here," the Master told him, jumping up onto the wall himself.

The Doctor didn't believe he would leave him but he wasn't about to risk it. He reached up and pulled himself onto the wall, just in time to avoid the first round of bullets which attacked the bricks.

"Gonna have to do better than that if you wanna get us," the Master taunted the guards, jumping down the other side and pulling the Doctor with him. He started running the second he hit the ground and his grip on the Doctor forced him to run alongside him. They were both aware of the guards behind them as they ran through the town, they were also both aware that they stuck out like a sore thumb.

"This way," an Astrian grabbed the Master arm and pulled him and the Doctor into the back streets. Once they stopped the Master identified the Astrian as Hastica and after a quick moment looking around, saw his son asleep in a closed down shop doorway. "You were right, I can't just sit back and allow this to happen."

The Doctor dropped to his knees, unable to stay standing. He breathed deeply and tried with all his might to ignore the pain still roaring through his back. The Master ignored him and listened to the shouting coming from the main street, he could hear the guards shouting the threatening people into giving up where they were.

"How can I help?" Hastica asked.

"Get us to the TARDIS," replied the Master, instantly. He quickly explained where the TARDIS was and then knelt by the Doctor, gently putting his arm around him and less gently pulling him up.

"That's the Doctor?" Hastica asked, watching them.

"I don't have time for small talk," the Master snapped.

The Doctor tried to tell him not to be rude, but struggled and gave up, just looked at Hastica and nodded slightly, "I am."

"It's an honour to help you, sir," Hastica said, before turning to wake his son, "Come on, Bele," he turned back to the Time Lords once his son was stood holding his hand, "Your TARDIS is this way."

They followed him quickly and quietly through two back streets before they had no choice but to enter the main road. Hastica pointed up the street to where the TARDIS was.

"We've got to get from here to there, but the guards are there," he pointed down the road to where the guards were still threatening people for information. "As soon as we head out we're going to be seen and I don't know if you're going to be able to get to the TARDIS before being caught."

"We'll have to risk it," the Master replied. "Come on, Doctor."

"I'll cover you," Hastica said. He turned to Bele, "Stay here, I'll be back in a minute." Bele nodded his understanding and Hastica turned back to the Doctor and the Master, "Come on."

They left the safety of the back street, the Master practically having to drag the Doctor along by this point. Hastica watched paranoidly down the street at the guards movement while the Master concentrated on getting him and the Doctor to the TARDIS.

"Freeze!" As one guard shouted all the rest turned and saw them. Numerous guns were pointed towards them, but they didn't stop moving towards the TARDIS

"Run!" Hastica told them, urgently.

"Freeze or we shoot," one guard said, his tone too reasonable for anyone's liking.

The Master kept dragging the Doctor along, and the guard, true to his word, shot in their direction. His gun shot was quickly followed by the repeated shots from the other guards' guns. The Master succeeded in getting them far enough away not to get hit, but the piercing scream of "DDDAAADDDDDDYYY!" told them that Hastica was not so lucky. They both looked back momentarily before the Master unlocked the TARDIS door and went to push the Doctor in.

"NO!" The Doctor screamed, seeing what the Master missed. Bele ran out of the safety of the back street to join his Dad and got caught in the gunfire. The Doctor tried to pull away from the Master, "We have to help them!"

"Do you want to die here?" the Master asked rhetorically and pushed the Doctor into the TARDIS. "We can't do anything."

"We can't just leave them," the Doctor argued. The Master didn't answer, just countered his argument by setting the TARDIS controls, "They got hurt because of us, we can't just let them die."

The Master glared at him bitterly, "No? You didn't care when it was Gallifrey, did you?"

The Doctor went quiet and looked away. After a moment in a silence he couldn't bear he whispered, "You saved me…"

The Master pulled his jacket off and threw it to the side as he spoke, "I didn't do it for you," he said bitterly. He watched the Doctor who was looking at him with hope and thanks mixed with the pain on his face. "Stop looking at me like that," he sighed, "I only did it because I'm not like you, I'm not going to destroy any part of Gallifrey," he smiled mischievously and added, "Plus if anyone's going to torture you, it's going to be me. No one else has that right."

The Doctor's expression fell into worry "Right…" he said, simply through lack of anything else to say. He avoided the Master's gaze, leaning on the console to support himself, when he added, "I meant it… the other day… when I said I love you."

"You've been spending too much time around humans," the Master told him.

"What do you mean?"

The Master looked at him from across the console, "You keep talking about love, you sound like them."

"We have love on Gallifrey, Koschei." The Doctor whispered.

"No. Can you really, truly, honestly say that when the last time you saw Gallifrey everyone was killing each other and you destroyed it?" the Master questioned, bitterly, "Where was the love then?"

"The love was in those who died in a vain attempt to protect those they cared about. Love was in the people who did everything to try and stop their children facing the true horrors of it," the Doctor replied, defensively. "Love was there but hate was winning."

The Master shook his head, "I don't believe you, there's no such thing as love."

"Do you really believe that? You said it first, remember."

"You caught me at a bad time, I was over-emotional," he walked over to the Doctor, and took his face, making him look at him. Staring the Doctor in the eyes he continued, "I don't love you," the Doctor forced himself not to blink, not to let any tears fall, "Even if I did believe there was such a thing as love, how could _I _love _you?_"

The Doctor flinched slightly, trying to pull away from the Master but he wouldn't let him, "Because… y-you said it yourself, I'm everything you want."

"And everything I hate. Don't forget that Theta, I hate you. I hate what you did, I hate what you let yourself become," the Master replied, the Doctor's expression telling him, he didn't believe him. "You think I love you, really?" the Doctor didn't move or give any answer and the Master continued, "Would love do this?" He moved his hands away from their gently hold on the Doctor's face and smacked it instead before stepping away from him.

The force almost knocked the Doctor over, but he grabbed the console and regained his balance but otherwise he made no reaction to the hit, "Koschei believed in love," he said, his voice quiet and nervous.

"Koschei died when I left Gallifrey," the Master spat, glaring at him, his eyes a silent warning that he didn't care if he was already hurt he was willing to hurt him more. "Just like Theta did."

"If you believe that why do you keep calling me Theta?"

The Master grinned, delighted to be able to explain that, "Two reasons. I know that as the Doctor you can bear me hating you, you're used to it, but can you under the name of Theta? I doubt it, I bet it hurts so very much. All those memories you hold so dear being tainted because it's not like that anymore and you know you have no one to blame but yourself for that."

The Doctor nodded, "A-a-and the other reason?"

"I don't hate Theta as much as I hate the Doctor," the Master replied, "If I didn't call you Theta then I'd only see the Doctor and I think if I only saw the Doctor I'd probably kill you without a second thought."

"But you don't want to kill me?" the Doctor asked quietly.

"Doesn't mean I'm against hurting you, don't forget that."

"I'm not likely to."

"You were right though, the other day," the Master said, thoughtfully, "I don't want to kill you because I want Gallifrey. And if I can't have it I want the next best thing. I want the only living, breathing part of Gallifrey to be mine. And it is. I own you Doctor, Theta. And you're too much in 'love' with me to do anything about it," his lips twitched up in amusement.

"It's more than that," the Doctor's tone was equally as thoughtful, "I love you, yes, but if it was just love I would leave, I'd walk away, I have before but it's you. It's you and that goes deeper than anything else I could never leave you-"

The Doctor clearly hadn't finished but the Master interrupted, "Because I am Gallifrey now and you want that so it's not like you destroyed it all."

"No, because it's you, because you're Koschei, because-"

"I am not Koschei" the Master interrupted.

"But you have those memories," the Doctor continued calmly, reasonably.

The Master smirked, "Oh but so much has changed since that time, Theta."

"I know," the Doctor sighed inwardly, "I'm just saying…" he struggled to explain, "It's not just love because you're right, that is so human. It's more than that, you're my life now and I think in a way you always were even after I left-"

"Shut up!" the Master practically shouted, "Don't go there."

The Doctor ignored him, "You never forgave me for that did you, Koschei?"

The Master's glare intensified, "I said don't call me that."

"But it's true, Koschei never forgave me and you never could either."

The Master spoke through gritted teeth to try and stay calm, "I said shut up," the Doctor looked at him sadly for a moment, "Better."

"I-" the Doctor started, but stopped at the Master's pointed glare. They stood in silence for a moment, before the Doctor dared to continue, "He's still there somewhere, isn't he? That's another reason you're not calling me Doctor, because somewhere deep down Koschei's still there and he's scared and lost and he's looking for his Theta to make it better. But you're worried you won't be able to find him, because you think he's gone so you insist that he has but at the same time you won't admit that he has."

The Master smacked the Doctor again, this time the force did knock him over, causing him to land on his back and scream out in pain. The Master smiled and angry smile, "You need to learn that when I say shut up, you shut up."

The Doctor shifted and sat up slowly, wincing as he did so, "You want me to be scared of you, so I'll do what you say. Well I'm not."

The Master smirked, grabbed the Doctor's arms and pulled him to his feet. "Yes, you are."

"No. I'm not," the Doctor replied without blinking, "The worse you'll do is hit me again. I'm not scared of that."

The Master laughed just slightly, "Except you are. You won't admit it, but it's so clear, there in your eyes, you're terrified of what I'm going to do next. And you need me, you need my help." He spun the Doctor around, keeping hold of his arms so he couldn't move away, "You need my help because I'm the only one who can make this better," he moved one hand away from the Doctor's arm and ran it lightly down his back, causing the Doctor to whimper in pain and tears to well up in his eyes. "Ask me to help."

The Doctor stayed quiet for a moment, so the Master spun him around again forcing him to face him, glaring pointedly at him. Eventually the Doctor gave in, "Please help me."

"Sorry what was that?" the Master said, making it clear he thought there was something missing.

"Please help me… Master." The Doctor amended,

"I will," the Master agreed and the Doctor's eyes widened in shock. The Master smirked again, "On one condition. You tell me about the Time War."

The Doctor stayed silent, trying to work out what he wanted more. Whether it was worth telling the Master what he wanted to hear to get the help he needed.

"Well, Doctor?" the Master prompted. "It seemed like a fair suggestion to me. Do you agree?"

Reluctantly, slowly, the Doctor nodded.

* * *

**I actually think part of my died writing this chapter. I struggled so much with the last scene on Astria because I wasn't sure if I should write what I planned or not. Then back in the TARDIS, I wrote most of that conversation months ago (in fact in April, Laura545 helped me write the beginning of it). But the next chapter, I've wrote most of so it won't be long until it's up.**


	8. Chapter 8

"The winds howled at hundreds of miles per hour, blowing in every direction, sweeping up everything in their paths and encouraging the fires." The Master had lead the Doctor through to the nearest bathroom and sat him on the toilet seat while he started running a sink of lukewarm water to tend to his cuts. As soon as the Doctor began talking it was clear his mind left the TARDIS and was sucked back into the Time War, his expression was empty, his voice the same. "The fires were everywhere, worse than any fire you will ever have seen. Time Lords were turned to ash within a second of being touched by those fires. They barely had time to voice their screams before their death and their remains were swept away by the winds. Those unlucky enough to survive any length of time in the War walked around with the ashes of their family members and friends blowing in their face at every moment without pause. Every step was a death trap, the fires, landmines and where there wasn't fire there was ice. Sometimes both. It is impossible for fire and ice to coexist and yet the Time War seemed to be defying all the laws of the universe. There was no one to tell the hail storms that in a city so hot from burning that it was impossible for ice to fall from the sky because fall the ice did. Hail stones with the size and power to kill and they did kill. So many deaths because of fire and ice."

The Doctor didn't blink, he didn't move at all, except to subconscious jump as the Master gently ran a damp cloth over his back. Otherwise he just stared into the empty space of the TARDIS not really seeing it there, not seeing the Master, not seeing anything, just talking. "Words cannot describe the dread and fear felt when walking through the first city I saw like this. It was Axtrica, the town in which I had grown up and that was the worst part. Mostly I could detach myself from the fact that it was Gallifrey, _my _planet that was burning and just concentrate on fighting and surviving but not there. When I left Gallifrey I thought I no longer held any sentiment with it but my hearts broke properly for the first time when I saw the devastation of that town. It was my home, my childhood reduced to fire and ash and death. How many wars have you fought in?" He didn't wait for an answer, he didn't even turn to the Master when he asked this, he barely even seemed aware that he was asking a question "I guarantee none would come close to the horrors of this one. Even that word, 'horror', is too small, too inadequate to really describe it. As I said there are no words, not in old Gallifreyan or any language of the universe."

He winced slightly as the cloth went over a particularly painful cut. The Master stopped moving the cloth and waiting for the Doctor to continue and after just a short moment he did, "Every Time Lord I came across was the same as I was, fighting with everything that had in a desperate attempt to survive while silently wishing and hoping and even praying for death. They didn't say it, of course, no solider would say such a thing, Gallifrey would've fallen so much quicker had they said it, but it was written in their eyes. Each one a mirror image of myself. Even children. No one should be living in such danger, in such terror that ever moment they long for death but children just made it so much worse. Children clinging to their parents or whoever they could find because often their parents would have died to save them, just clinging to whoever because they needed some sort of safety but their petrified eyes said that they knew they wouldn't find it." subconsciously he put his arms out as if so hold a child close to him. "Their eyes, their tiny arms attached, the dried tears on their faces spoke of broken hearts and terror and screamed for a way out no matter what that way was. It removed hope. Children were the future of Gallifrey, they would run and rebuild the planet when the War was over. If the War ever ended because no one could see an end. If there was no hope in the children what hope was there for the planet? I saw none, I saw the Time War from every angle, I fought from every position and it only even got worst never better. No one saw hope, no one could see a way out."

His arms dropped limp and his eyes closed, the Time War continued to play out in his mind "And it changed us, it completely ruined us. Wars do that. We lost who we were, what we stood for, everything, because I spoke of fire and ice and landmines and there's times when I think that was the nicer edge. No, not nice, the Time War didn't have a nice edge, but I think fire was a better way to go because it was one touch. One touch and it was over, no coming back, no regenerating, just death. It was the controlled areas that were worse, my town and others like it were abandoned, just left to burn. Nothing could be done to save them and so no one even bothered to try. No one cared enough to try and help a few helpless towns. They had bigger worries. The Time Lords changed, the change in them terrified me but mostly because I saw the same change in myself. They would've done anything to survive, they fought and killed and tortured. Oh Rassilon, the torture. They were as bad as the Daleks, maybe worse because the Daleks always were like that. It was no surprise that the Daleks tortured and killed and waited for us to regenerate just so they killed us again, but when the Time Lords did? There was no chance Gallifrey could survive with that. They were paranoid, completely and utterly paranoid, they didn't trust anyone."

"They?" The Master asked, his voice was quiet, almost nervous about interrupting, worried the Doctor would stop explaining and he needed this explanation. The drums were loving it, they became quieter and steadier as the Master lost himself in the image the Doctor was painting. He stopped what he was doing as the cloth he was using became too soaked with blood and waiting for the Doctor to start talking against before getting a new one.

He didn't have to wait long. The Doctor just about registered the voice and the question and explained without breaking his line of speech "They thought everyone was against them, the High Council of Time Lords, the Lord President only trusted his closest advisors and anyone he thought was a traitor he ordered to be tortured, often having the pleasure of doing it himself. And he seemed to relish in it, he seemed to love it, he was crazed. And it wasn't his fault, he couldn't be blamed, he wasn't a bad person but the War got to him, the War changed him, the War destroyed him. When he wasn't ordering and committing torture he was planning, scheming, plotting. Anything to keep Gallifrey alive, anything to make sure the Time Lords emerged the winners. Anything to kill the Daleks and everyone else who got in his way. But underneath it, underneath all that, he was just like everyone else, he just wanted it to be over but wasn't willing to give up before necessary."

A small, humourless laugh escaped the Doctor's lips, quickly followed by a tiny whimper as the Master continued to clear the blood from his back, "It's funny really, humans. They're so tiny in the universe, they know nothing about what's going on while they're baby apes stuck to their little world and yet they don't realise how true some of what they say is. 13, they say, unlucky for some. 13 lives meant 13 deaths. It meant dying and coming back only to be tortured and killed again. And there was such inventive torture techniques. The Time War never seized to amaze me, because I was amazed. I was scared, I was completely terrified, I was hating every moment, I was wanting it to be over, but there was that part of me, a part of me that was just like the Lord President, a part of me that watched the torture just amazed at how creative it was. It fascinated me. And that's what I mean, the Time War made us lose ourselves, no one was truly themselves in that War. Everyone became something else, mostly something worse."

"How did you decide to end it?" the Master needed to know, he hated relying on the Doctor for information. He hated that he had been a coward and ran from the War, he hated that he would never truly understand it, but now he needed to know as much as he could. He needed the Doctor to keep talking, he needed the drums to stay silenced.

The Doctor didn't ignore the question, he didn't answer because he didn't hear it. "There was the Nightmare Child, you've probably heard of it, Davros died there, well would've, had Dalek Caan not broke the Time barrier and got him out." He broke off on a tangent "I still don't know how he did that. How could he possibly do that? The Time Lock was impenetrable. How could he get out?"

"Doctor…" the Master said gently, to bring the Doctor back to his point.

"The Nightmare Child was one of the worst, I don't even know which side created it, both sides lost hundreds, thousands to it." The Doctor came back on topic, his voice still empty and full of pain, "It was a child's voice, a sweet innocent, scared child's voice, because who can resist the voice of a child? No one. The good would go to it to try and help, to save it, the bad would go to it to destroy it, an easy target and either way everyone was drawn to it. A child's voice would draw you in and once you were in you never got out again. I only got close to it once, but I heard the rumours, I heard that once you were drawn in you were forced to live your worst nightmares, hence the name. I heard you were forced to live your worst nightmares until it killed you. But I don't see what could possibly have been worse than living through that War. What nightmares could it possibly be making people live out? I don't understand."

The Master finished clearly the blood and just stared at the Doctor's back, but like the Doctor he wasn't really seeing what was in front of him, he was seeing the image the Doctor was painting. The Doctor paused momentarily and it was a moment too long for the drums which became agitated and make their presence heard again. "Doctor," he said, his voice a silent beg not a threat.

The Doctor turned to him momentarily, blinking as thought brought back to the present, "You asked a question earlier didn't you? What was it?"

The Master had to think for a moment to remember what he had said, his mind too lost on everything the Doctor had said, "You ended it, how did you decide to do that? When did you see that it was too much? That Gallifrey would be better off DEAD than in that War?"

A single tear fell down the Doctor's cheek and he didn't answer for a moment. He swallowed to pull himself together and eventually said "When everyone became so lost in the fight that no one even cared what we were fighting for. All we cared about was killed, spilling blood. Nobody even cared how or why it happened, just so long as someone got hurt and it didn't matter who it was. It wasn't about Gallifrey anymore." As the Doctor was talking the Master moved over to a cupboard to look for a pot of cream, "It wasn't about everything. It was just… just about killing. And that's not Gallifrey. People turned on each other. Brothers fighting brothers, not even seeing who it was. Just fighting…"

He found it and turned back to the Doctor, "But how did you decide? You said before that at one point you wanted to destroy it, tell me about that?"

The Doctor looked stricken at the thought of explaining that, about having to continue talking about the War, and yet at the same time he looked relieved, like he needed this opportunity to tell something what it was like. "I said all we cared about was killing and spilling blood, that was all that mattered. And that was all that mattered to me, I wasn't myself. I was killing and hurting and torturing and I was enjoying it. It was exhilarating."

"You felt powerful, like you were in control," the Master said, simply. It was a statement, not a question. It was something he understood well. He started rubbing the cream over the Doctor's cuts, "This'll help it heal quite quickly…"

The Doctor nodded, ignoring his second comment, "That was it. That was exactly it. Everyone wanted control in that War because control was exactly what they didn't have and I wanted it. I wanted to be able to control it. Not just the people around me but everything and everyone. And… I don't know, it wasn't something I thought about really, the idea just came to me. It just ran through my mind, I could kill everyone. I could survive. I could have the ultimate victory. I could do what everyone wanted. I could kill every single Time Lord in existence and survive. The only survive. The Time Lord victorious."

The Master's subconsciously pushed his fingers into the Doctor's back as he tensed at what the Doctor was saying.

The Doctor winced slightly and snapped at him, "You told me to talk about it, it's not my fault if you can't handle it."

The Master was a little taken aback by this and just continued applying the cream.

The Doctor shook it off and continued explaining, "I thought that and it snapped me back to my senses. The thought horrified me. _I _had wanted to destroy my planet, I had wanted to kill. I _had _been killing and worse I had been enjoying it. That moment, it was like I woke up to everything that was around me. The planet burning, the people destroying each other. The Time Lords were already dead by this point. Sure they were still there fighting but everything they were, everything they stood for, everything they believed in, that was dead. They couldn't see what they were doing just like I hadn't been able to."

"And?" the Master pressed, a level of desperation entering his voice. He finished creaming the Doctor's back and sat down on the floor, with his back lent against the bath. He watched the Doctor as he continued.

"And I knew Gallifrey was a lost cause. I knew there was nothing which could make it better, there was no way to save anyone, there was no way except to… to end the War. To destroy Gallifrey" the Doctor explained, his voice becoming quieter and more reluctant. He continued nonetheless, "It terrified me. I tried to reason with myself, I looked everywhere for another option, I tried everything. But there was no way. I put it off for as long as possible and then… spoke to the Lord President."

The Master's eyes widened in shock, but the Doctor didn't notice, staring straight ahead not seeing anything around him.

"He said I was a traitor to Gallifrey. He said I was worse than everything and everyone else in the War. He said I deserved to be killed, but not until I was tortured within an inch of my life, not until I was at the point of begging for death. Only then would he kill me," the Doctor continued, shuddering slightly at this. "The worse thing is I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared of him or what he would do. At that point I don't think I was scared of anything. And part of me almost let him…"

"You wanted to let him kill you?" the Master asked, confused.

"I didn't want to destroy Gallifrey. I didn't want to have to be the one to do that. It was necessary, it had to be done but that was the one thing I was scared off. Destroying Gallifrey, surviving. Part of me would rather have died. But before I spoke to the Lord President, I saw this little kid." The Doctor closed his eyes, remembering him. "A young boy, he was so small, covered in cuts and bruises, bleeding from various places, tears running down his face continuously they wouldn't stop, they couldn't stop. And he clung to me, his arms hardly having the strength to wrap themselves around me and he looked up and me and he begged me to stop it, he begged me to make it end. When the Lord President was threatening me, it was because of him that I didn't just give in and accept it."

The Doctor looked right at the Master, meeting his eyes, "I'll never justify destroying Gallifrey, I'll never claim it's a good thing, I'll never forgive myself for killing millions. But you have to understand, you have to believe me, it was the only option. It was the only way to end the War, it was the only way to save them. I- I had to do it."

"Do you understand why I left?" the Master asked, not addressing the Doctor's final comment. He didn't wait for the Doctor's response, "I knew what it'd be like. Not properly, of course, but I couldn't bear to find out. Yeah, I was scared," his expression made it clear he hated admitting this, "I was bloody terrified, but not of the War. I was scared of what would happen to me. I _have _to be in control, all the time, throughout my whole life, I _had _to have control. Because I can't bear the drums if I'm not. You think I'm a monster, you think I'm a psycho, but I they need it, the drums, they need the death and destruction. If I had been there, I would've been just like you," this thought clearly disgusted him, "I would've wanted to destroy Gallifrey for the victory and I probably would've done it for that reason and that reason alone. I'm not a coward. I stay away for the better. Do you understand? Do you _get _it now?"

The Doctor just nodded, too numb to say or do anything else.

* * *

**Hey! Two things to thank for this chapter: Laura545 (again, gotta love her!) for helping me when I got stuff and Skillet's song 'Dead Inside' which inspired me to write about the Time War long before I knew I was going to make the Doctor talk about the Time War in this fic. This chapter sort of ran away, it's actually longer than the first chapter which shocked me, but yeah. I think it's all right, but I need you lot to review and let me know for definitely. Ly'all. **

**Carly. X**


	9. Chapter 9

The Time War became an obsession for the Master. He became determined to find out every detail about it. He forced the Doctor to talk about it, more so than the Doctor was willing and rarely let the subject lay. At times the Master would listen calming, give the Doctor time to get his words out, sometimes even going as far as to wrap his arms around him as he spoke. Other times he was less kind, pinning the Doctor to the wall, forcing him to meet his eyes as he spoke, beating the words out of him. At times the Doctor was glad for opportunity to explain how he was feeling, glad to be able to talk and hold nothing back, glad he didn't have to sugar coat it, glad to have someone who could listen and understand. Other times the Doctor wished the Master would just let it go, let him stop thinking about it, let him stop hurting but he knew that wouldn't happen and for the most part he accepted that. He grew used to it.

But it wasn't just the Doctor's words the Master wanted. He wanted to see the remains of the planets that got involved, the ones other than Gallifrey which were left a cindered ball cycling defiant suns and he took the Doctor to each of them. Watching the emptiness, imagining the deaths. He took the Doctor to planets which had taken in survivors of the Time War, members of species who had fought but left before it was too late. He listened to any survivor who would talk to him, taking in the different stories, the different views of the same horrific war. Each time the Doctor just stood there quietly, trying not to listen, trying not to remember but being forced back onto Gallifrey, forced to the worst moments of his life each time it was mentioned.

In his desperate quest for knowledge the Master found out about the times the Daleks returned after the Time War and though convinced there was none left in the universe, they came across one lone Dalek on an abandoned planet, preparing for a fleet that would never come. When faced with the Dalek, the Doctor saw an anger in the Master which went beyond everything else everything else he had ever seen. The Master destroyed the Dalek, killing it within moments of seeing it, shouting almost illegibly about the destruction of Gallifrey and continuing his frenzied attack long after it was obvious it was dead. The Doctor stayed back when this happened, avoiding the Master for a long while after it to give him time to calm down.

Yet it was never quite enough, despite dragging the Doctor all other the universe to see the aftermath and hear the stories and legends of the Time War, it was never enough for the Master. He still wanted more, he still needed more. He needed to know everything, every tiny little detail, but he knew knowing wouldn't be enough. He needed more than that, he needed to feel it.

"Theta?"

The Doctor looked up from his cross-legged seat on the chairs by the controls to find the Master watching him. He tried to read the Master's blank expression but couldn't, "Yes, Koschei?" he replied softly.

The Master's expression turned to a glare for a brief moment. They hadn't come to any agreeable solution regarding their old names; the Doctor had come to accept the Master calling him Theta because he had no choice in the matter, while a part of him was glad of it for the old familiarity and safety in it. The Master on the other hand still hated the use of his old name, feeling it lacked the power "The Master" held, but for the most part allowed the Doctor to use it as long as it wasn't too often. The glare only lasted a moment before the Master's expression became unreadable again.

"You're going to show me," he told the Doctor simply.

The Doctor looked at him in confusion, his mind instantly worked out that this was something to do with the Time War but beyond that he didn't know what the Master meant. "Show you what?"

"The War," the Master continued to speak simply.

"What do you-" the Doctor broke off from asking what he meant when the realisation dawned on him. He stood up and stepped back despite the fact that the Master hadn't moved towards him, "No. That's not going to happen. No way."

This time when the Master glared at him it remained on his face, "You haven't got a choice in this, Theta."

The Doctor glared right back at him, "You can drag me all around the universe, you can force me to tell you ever little detail, everything I know, everything I saw, you can hit me when you're angry, I don't care but you are not seeing the War."

The Master stepped around the console towards the Doctor, who took another step back, "Again, I feel the need to tell you, you haven't got a choice in this."

The Doctor hesitated for a moment before saying, "You'll have to find me first," and bolting off deeper into the TARDIS.

"Oh come now, Theta, that's just childish," the Master rolled his eyes and called after him.

The Doctor knew it was childish, but he was rather be childish that allow the Master to witness the Time War from his mind. He knew the Master felt like he needed to see it and part of him felt selfish for being against showing him, part of him felt like he owed the Master it since it was his fault Gallifrey was no longer there. But that was the smaller part of him, a bigger part knew the Master would regret it once he had seen it, the bigger part knew that once it was seen it would be burnt into the Master's memories forever and he would never be free from it. He ran deep into the TARDIS to the point where he almost got himself lost, but that was good, if he wasn't sure of the way back, it would be difficult for the Master to find him.

At least that's what he thought, he was proven wrong pretty much as soon as he went to relax. The Master grabbed the Doctor's arm and turned him to face him. The Doctor couldn't stop his hearts and breath from quickening as he did.

"Did you really think you'd be able to hide from me, Theta? Really?" he asked, anger clear in his voice.

The Doctor attempted to pull away from him but the Master wouldn't let him move.

"Now I will tell you one final time, you are going to show me the Time War," the Master repeated. "Is that clear?"

"Crystal," the Doctor replied bitterly, succeeding in pulling away this time. "It's still not going to happen."

The Master smacked him across the face, "I am the Master and you will do as I say."

"Not this time," the Doctor said defiantly.

"Really? You're not going to show me?" the Master asked and the Doctor shook his head, "You don't think I have the right to see what happened in the war that ended the life of my people and my planet?"

"You lost that right when you ran away."

The Master hit him again, this time in the stomach, "You know why I had to run."

"Yes. I do" the Doctor agreed, "And for the same reasons you aren't going to see it."

"You don't get to decide that, Theta."

"It's my mind. You can do whatever the hell you like and I know you will but you stay away from my mind," the Doctor insisted.

"No," was all the Master said in response before roughly grabbing the temples of the Doctor's head. "You're mine, Doctor, body and mind."

The Doctor struggled helplessly against the Master, "Get off."

The Master ignored him and concentrated with his whole mind on opening the connection between his mind and the Doctor's. The Doctor continued to struggle as the Master did this but the Master proved to be stronger and forced the merging of their minds. As he did so the Doctor let out the smallest of whimpers, his mind in screaming out in protest as being invaded against his will.

"_It'll hurt less if you stop struggling, Theta,_" the Master said, directly into the Doctor's mind, the mental voice soft and soothing. The complete opposite of how the Master had been only moments before.

"_I'll stop struggling when you get out of my head_" the Doctor replied, bitterly. He closed his eyes to block out the image of what was around him and focus on his mind. He used all his strength to try and push the Master out but quickly realised that the Master's mind was stronger than his and was forcing its presence with more force than the Doctor had to force it out.

"_Relax and it'll be all right,_" the Master told him.

The Doctor didn't reply. He was using all of his concentration to try and protect his mind from the Master's intrusion. He hasn't shared his mind with anyone since Reinette and he knew that the imaginary closed doors he had told her to think of wouldn't be enough to keep the Master out.

"_What's wrong, Theta? You never used to have a problem with me being in your mind," _the Master commented, almost but not quite distracting the Doctor from what he was doing. "_You used to love it, being able to calm me down. See, Theta, I think you're just like me."_

"_Shut up," _the Doctor told him irritably, his head aching from the effort of trying to protect itself and the pain of a foreign unwanted presence.

The Master ignored him, "_I think you loved having control. You loved having that hold over me, back when we were young. You loved knowing that you were the only one who could calm me down, make it better. You loved being able to control me._"

The Doctor took to ignore him, trying to block out his words but knowing there was no way when they were being said directly into his mind.

"_Not so good now is it? Now the tables are turned, now it's me in control_" the Master continued, rambling along as though he couldn't stop himself. "_Now that I'm completely in control of you. Every little part of you is mine and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. You're my Doctor, my Theta, all mine._"

The Doctor hoped that the Master would be too focused on what he was saying to notice the blocks he was putting up in his mind. The blocks he hoped would be strong enough to keep the Master from seeing what the Doctor desperately wanted to protect him from.

"_And I'm going to see, Theta. You can't stop me from seeing. Nothing can stop me from seeing." _

The Master stopped speaking to the Doctor's mind and took to wandering through it instead. It was but strange and familiar. A lot of the Master's own past was in the Doctor's mind and he knew that at another point he would return to the Doctor's mind and drag it up. What better way to get to the Doctor than show him all the ways he screwed up when they were first together? But for now he had a more important task at hand. The Time War was locked away in the Doctor's mind and he had to find it. He had to drag it out, he had to see it. He needed it; he needed to understand what happened to his planet, he needed to see what he had run away from.

He found wandering in the Doctor's mind was like walking through a forest. It was dark and should've been scary and yet there was something familiar and safe about it. All around him were the Doctor's memories, they were all open for him to look at, all but the one he was looking for. He was acutely aware of the Doctor's mind protesting to his presence but that was easy to ignore.

Eventually he came to what appeared to be a barbed wired fence. The Master looked past it and saw a dark building which appeared like a prison and knew that had to be where the Doctor was hiding the memories of the War. He knew the defences were more than just barbed wire but he also knew it wouldn't be nearly enough.

"_Do you really think that's going to keep me out?_" he asked, his voice tinged with amusement.

**A/N: I came to this fic today all "I don't know what to write so I'll just do a filler-ending/epilogue thing and end it" and started that, then got the idea for the mind-intrusion and here we are with the story not ended =P. R&R. ly'all.**


	10. Chapter 10

The Doctor's defences were stronger than the Master had expected them to be and caused a lot more effort than he had anticipated. He steadily got more and more irritated as he struggled to break through, his fingernails began digging into the Doctor's head as he held it tightly, stopping any attempt the Doctor made at pulling away. The Doctor fought against him both physically and mentally, though the Master's eyes were shut and the Doctor's movements were weak, he was still aware of the Doctor's feeble attempts to get away from him. In the Doctor's mind all around him was the continuous proof of the Doctor's protests. The Doctor's mind was weaker though, he had only ever had to put up with his own thoughts there, he had nothing there forcing him to be stronger, he was nothing more than average. The Master had the drums, the constant invasion of his mind since he was eight years old, forcing him to have to be strong to fight against them, simply to survive.

The Master couldn't help but think this was the first time in his life the drums had done him any good as he began to break through the final defence. The Doctor was desperately trying to rebuild the defences but he couldn't. The Master got through, he was able to see, and, which was almost better than that, he was aware of the Doctor giving in to him. The Doctor lent his forehead against the Master's gently, but otherwise went completely still, his mind went quiet and he stopped fighting against the Master. The Master was about to make some comment, to rub it in that he had won, that he had complete control over him, but was stopped by the reality of what he had found.

The memories of the Time War weren't in anyway clear or organised. The Master couldn't sieve through them slowly, looking at what he wanted to see, they bombarded themselves in to his view. Quick flashes of terror that the Master could barely make sense of, ran in front of him, shocking him to the point where he was left helpless to do anything but watch. He watched at the horror the Doctor had so vividly described only a few weeks before played out in front of him, showing the Doctor's words to have been inadequate, showing that no words could truly explain it. The drums quietened to the point of almost silence as he watched and the Master felt torn between being glad of that and horrified at what he was witnessing. Everything was worse than anything he had inflicted on a person or a planet. He couldn't believe the level of the violence and terror that Gallifrey became.

What made everything worse was not only was he witnessing this, he was feeling it as though there first hand. He didn't feel as though he was in the TARDIS or even in the Doctor's mind, he felt like he was on Gallifrey in the middle of the Time War. Exactly what he had tried to avoid. Yet although he had the power to stop it, to leave the Doctor's mind at any moment, he didn't. He was transfixed, almost hypnotised by the images. He could feel exactly what the Doctor had felt, the fear so deep that the word fear was a joke, the pain that went beyond the point of tears, the determination, the small amount of enjoyment. He could understand exactly why the Doctor did everything he saw him doing. After a while of watching the images flashing in front of him, the Master took control and stopped it. He stopped everything. He didn't move physically or mentally. He just froze trying to make sense of everything he'd just witnessed, trying to let go of the mass of emotions it had forced upon him. He stayed in the Doctor's mind, despite the mess the war had left, his mind was still calmer than the Master's, quieter. It was a welcome rest for the Master and it gave him the chance the show the Doctor he would decide how everything went.

The Doctor! As the Master thought that he became aware of just how quiet the Doctor was being. He had been so wrapped up in everything he was watching and trying to deal with it, he had forgotten about the Doctor himself.

"_Theta?_" he said, firmly through the connection, demanding his attention.

"_You don't need to be scared,_" the Doctor replied, softly and the Master located his consciousness. While the Master had been attacking the Doctor's mind, the Doctor had taken sanctuary in the Master's, looking at the Master's deepest thoughts while the Master had been powerless to stop him.

"_What the hell do you think you're doing?_" The Master forced himself to remain calm, ignoring the Doctor's comment.

"_You're so scared,_" the Doctor elaborated, "_About so much, but you don't need to be._"

"_I think you're confusion my emotions with your own,_" the Master tried to laugh that comment off.

"_The drums, the War, being alone, losing control,_" the Doctor listed, trying to make sense of this revelation while proving to the Master, he knew what he was talking about.

The Master let go of the Doctor's head without warning, breaking the connection and forcing the Doctor's consciousness back into his own head. The Doctor screamed out in pain and fell to his knees, clutching his head as a searing pain ran through it and didn't leave. His mind was screaming, unable to cope with the pain of the Master leaving so suddenly. The Doctor whimpered, unable to stop himself, too lost in the pain to even realise he was doing so. Only a short moment later he called out in pain again as the Master's foot made contact with his rib. He registered the pain and the way it knocked him to the ground but nothing else about it as the pain in his head was still too all consuming.

Sub-consciously he backed away from the Master, blinking frantically to try and clear his vision to see what was going on outside of his mind. He was aware of the figure towering over him, stepping towards him but he couldn't make sense of it. He knew he needed to get away from it though, he scrambled to his feet and stepped backwards, until he hit a wall. He closed his eyes momentarily trying to clear the mess that what his mind, trying to work out what was going on. He made sense of it quickly and realised he was in the Time War. He briefly wondered how he could've forgotten that and came to the conclusion that whoever was in front of him had messed with his head.

"S-stay away from me," he stuttered, silently cursing himself for that, letting his enemy know he was scared was the worst thing he could do. He noted that his enemy in this case was a Time Lord. He momentarily wondered why this Time Lord was his enemy and who he was, but the truth was he didn't care much. All he cared about was getting away no more hurt than he already was or better yet, defeating his enemy. He watched the enemy carefully, a small smirk was plastered over his face as he stood a few steps away watching him right back.

The Master saw the fear written all over the Doctor's face, but he also saw something else, a look in his eyes which he didn't recognise, that he'd never seen in him before. At that point he didn't care what it was, he was too angry to care about anything, he simply noticed as he watched him, picking his moment. Once he was sure it was the right one he moved forward to attack the Doctor and was caught completely off guard as the Doctor lunged at him and hit him before he could do anything. He automatically went to hit the Doctor back, snarling at him, but the Doctor caught his fist and forced him back, hitting him in the rib with his spare hand. All attempts the Master made to fight back were easily blocked by the Doctor and just a moment later the Doctor knocked him to the ground.

"I told you to stay away from me," the Doctor said, now towering over the Master the way the Master had been over him just moments before. He kept his fists clenched threateningly, "Now I don't know who you are or why you're fighting against me and therefore against your own planet but if you come near me I won't hesitate to kill you."

"Theta…" the Master said quietly, confused, shocked and mostly angry.

"Gallifrey doesn't need traitors like you. You should just be killed," the Doctor continued, as though unaware that the Master had actually spoken, "The middle of a Time War and you _dare _fight against Gallifrey. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just kill you now?"

The Master slowly moved to sit up but the Doctor knocked him down again, "I just asked you a question."

The Master moved out of the Doctor's reach quickly and jumped to his feet, "Yeah and I'm not answering it. What you going to do about it?"

"I take it that means you don't have a reason. I take it that means you don't actually care if I kill you right now," the Doctor retorted, amused. He stepped forward and smacked the Master right in the face but didn't dodge in time to avoid the punch that came back at him only seconds later. The Master grabbed the Doctor's arms and forced him against the wall, smacking him again once they were there. The Doctor quickly hit the Master again, and turned the situation to his favour, holding the Master to the wall and hitting him a number of times before the Master was able to push him off.

"Theta," the Master said, his tone a warning.

The Doctor was momentarily thrown by the use of his old name, so much so that when the next punch came he wasn't expecting it and it caused him to lose his balance. The Master grabbed hold of him, stopping him from falling and hitting him again. The Doctor realised his enemy must have seen hey he felt about his old name in is mind, seen the vulnerability it held for him, and chose to use that against him. He'd been stupid to let it work. He struggled in the Master's grip trying to pull away, trying to hit him again but the Master proved to be stronger.

"Theta!" he repeated, taking hold of his face and making him look at him.

The Doctor succeeded in pushing the Master off him, "That is not my name. Do _not _call me that, _ever _is that clear?"

"Stop this, this isn't you," the Master ignored his comment and said.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "What a few minutes trying to mess with my head and suddenly you think you know me. You're wrong. Anything I thought before, it's different now. If you mess with me now, I'm gonna mess with you a hell of a lot harder."

"Theta!" the Master tried slapped some sense in the Doctor, but the only response he got was the Doctor punching him.

"I told you not to call me that," the Doctor replied, hitting the Master again. "You know what you're problem is?"

The Master raised his eyebrow, "No but I bet you're going to tell me."

"You've come into the Time War and you made the worst mistake you could make. _Never _underestimate you're opponent," the Doctor explained before properly going for the Master.

* * *

**You know the problem with this story? It's refusing to end. Chapter 9 was to be the last chapter, then I wrote it, chapter 10 was to be the last chapter, then I wrote it, chapter 11… probably won't be the last chapter. R&R? ly'all.**


	11. Chapter 11

The Doctor's strength and fighting ability shocked the Master. He's always knows the Doctor was good with a sword and many lives back had been handy at karate but it had been self-defence, this was purely going out of his way to hurt him. The Doctor had the upper-hand for a solid couple of minutes and the Master could do little more than just defend himself. The fight seemed like it would never end, the Doctor didn't seem to be tiring, throwing punches and kicks one after the other. The crazed almost possessed look in the Doctor's eyes had caught the Master off-guard and he still couldn't get used to it. This was so out of character, the kind, sweet, gentle Doctor didn't fight like this. His Doctor didn't do this, didn't _get _to do this. A surge of anger ran through the Master and he grabbed the Doctor's wrist when the next punch came flying. The Doctor snarled and automatically went to hit him with his free hand but the Master twisted his arm back behind his back, forcing him to face the same direction as the Master. The Master then forced him to his knees, moving his hand to the Doctor's shoulders to keep him down.

"Get your treacherous hands off me," the Doctor spat, struggling against him.

"Oh _I'm _the traitor?" the Master laughed bitterly, "That's almost funny coming from you."

"You're the one fighting against Gallifrey."

"You're the one who destroyed Gallifrey," the Master retorted.

"What the hell are you on about, you delusional prat? We're on Gallifrey," the Doctor replied, still struggling against the Master in vain. "I'm fighting to protect the bloody planet, why the hell could I destroy it? I'm not stupid, whatever you may think," the Master allowed him to continue, "I know you're trying to mess with my thoughts to stop me fighting you, well it's not going to work. I'm going to destroy you," he succeeded in pulling away from the Master but the Master knocked him to the ground before he had time to get up. The Doctor looked at him glaring furiously. "I am going to tear you limb from limb and I'm going to enjoy it," he jumped up and smacked the Master, too focused on attacking him to notice what he was doing.

The Master raises his arms and grabbed hold of the Doctor's head, forcing open a connection, before the Doctor had time to try and pull away.

"_Stop it, Doctor" _he said directly into the Doctor's head.

The Doctor gasped slightly, his mental voice shaky, "_M-Master?_"

"_That's me_" The Master replied, his voice irritated when he continued, "_Now stop trying to kill me._"

"_No._"

"_No?_"

"_It makes no difference who you are. You're fighting against me and we can't afford to let anyone go in this War whoever they are._"

"_You're telling me _you're_ going to kill_ me_?_" the Master asked.

"_If you insist on fighting me I have no choice,_"

"_Then I'm not sorry to have to do this_"

The Master didn't give the Doctor a chance to reply before attacking his mind and knocking him unconscious so the Doctor couldn't fight back. Once the Doctor had lost consciousness, the Master lowered him to the ground keeping the connection and working to bury the memories of the Time War the way the Doctor had had them before. Once he was done the Master left the Doctor on the ground there.

FG

The Doctor came to about an hour later to find his mind screaming in pain. He tried to stand up but could he was too shaky to be able to. He stayed sat with his back leant against the wall for a while hoping his mind would calm down enough for him to be able to move. His whole mind was aching, hurting so much he couldn't even think straight. After a few moments it cleared just enough for him to be able to pull himself to his feet. He lent heavily against the wall, trying to get his bearings, trying to work out what was going on and where he was. It was the TARDIS, his TARDIS. He remembered the War, was he in the War? No, that wasn't right, the War had ended. He remembered the Master and the War, no, no that couldn't be right the Master hadn't been there.

The Master. He was going to have to find him to find out what was going on. Slowly the Doctor began to put one foot in front of the other to try and reach the Master. He had to lean against the wall heavily the whole way, his mind in so much pain it was all he could do not to just collapse on the floor. Eventually he made it to the console room where he found the Master sitting, glaring at the console.

"M-Master?" the Doctor struggled to speak.

The Master jumped to his feet and turned to him, before quickly moving to him and punching him hard on the jaw. The force of the blow mixed with the Doctor's current weakness caused him to fall to the ground. He looked up at the Master helplessly, making no effort to get back up, knowing it would be pointless to try.

"What happened?" the Doctor asked. His voice was quiet because that was all he could manage. He could barely see through the pain inside his head. The pain of the hit didn't even register in comparison. He tried to make eye contact with the Master but couldn't see clearly enough to be able to.

"I'll tell you what happened, _Theta,_" the Master spat. His voice was loud and angry, causing an irrational level of fear in the Doctor. The Doctor tried to move back away from him but the Master grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him to his feet, slamming him against the wall.

"D-don't," the Doctor stuttered, watching him wide eyed, still struggling to see but unable to miss the anger and betrayal in his eyes.

"'D-don't' what?" the Master mimicked. When he continued his voice turned hard, "Don't hurt you? Don't kill you? Like you would never kill me?"

"W-what?" the Doctor asked.

"You're a two-faced hypocritical git," the Master spat, still holding the Doctor roughly against the wall. "You have to gall to judge me for the things I've done? You think you have the right to tell me I was wrong, that I was a bad person, that I shouldn't have done those things?"

The Doctor raised one hand to his hand desperately, using the other to try and push the Master away from him. "Stop it…" he whispered.

The Master didn't move except to change his hand from being fisted in the Doctor's shirt to around the Doctor's throat, "You don't tell me what to do," he told him. His grip on the Doctor's throat was tight enough to leave bruising but not tight enough to seriously affect his breathing. It was just tight enough to deepen the look of panic in the Doctor's eyes. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just kill you now?"

The Doctor whimpered slightly in panic, "D-don't. Please," both his hands were now clutching his head tightly.

"You say you're a pacifist, you say you're _against _violence, you're a liar," the Master tightened his grip slightly.

"The War…" the Doctor said quietly, tears starting to streak down his face from pain and confusion. "I couldn't… I didn't…" he met the Master's eyes, "Please help me"

"What's wrong, Theta?" he asked softly, "Does your head hurt?"

The Doctor nodded slightly.

"It's a shame," the Master's voice was still gentle, "Such a shame. I could make it better…"

The Doctor's expression became hopeful, "Please…" he whispered.

"But then why should I?" the Master asked, "Why shouldn't you have live with an unbearable pain in your head for a while?" The hope on the Doctor's face instantly fell into disappointment and fear and he struggled helplessly against the Master. "Surely that's the least you deserve for everything you've done? For threatening and _attempting _to kill me."

The Doctor froze, "What?" he said, his voice almost silent, disbelieving. "I didn't… I wouldn't…" in his mind what had happened started to make sense again and yet more tears fell down his face as he remembered it all. The feeling in his head that he was in the War. The Master fighting him. Him telling him that it made no difference who he was. "I-I-I'm sorry," he said. "I wouldn't have…"

The Master let go, watching him fall to the ground, enjoy how much this was hurting the Doctor, enjoying knowing that he could stop it hurting, enjoying that the Doctor was crying and pleading because of him. That was a power he always wanted, always craved. The Doctor curled up slightly on the floor, his arms wrapped around his head, the pain inside obviously still unbearable.

"The thing that _really _gets me," the Master said simply, bending down beside him, seeing the way the Doctor flinched as he came closer, "is that you still think you can lie to me. You would've killed me. You would've torn me to pieces and enjoyed every minute of it and you know it." There was an unspoken threat in the Master's voice as he added, "Don't lie to me, Theta."

"I'm sorry," the Doctor cried, shaken through pain and tears. "I'm so sorry."

The Master grabbed his arms and pulled them away from his head, using them to force him to an upright position before moving and grabbing his head. The Doctor flinched but didn't pull away. He tried watching the Master but the pain made even seeing hurt, so he closed his eyes and put trust in the only other Time Lord, trying not to be terrified. The Master forced open a connection between them.

"_I can make it better, Theta,_" he whispered, into the Doctor's head, his tone almost taunting. "_I can make it all go away._"

"_Please Koschei_" the Doctor replied, bringing his hands up to place over the Master's. "_Please?_"

The Master smirked slightly, unseen by the Doctor's closed eyes. He didn't do anything for a moment, allowing the Doctor to move into his mind as momentary sanctuary from the pain and confusion in his own. The Doctor didn't do anything, just hovered in the Master's mind, glad of the quiet and peace.

"_Seems peaceful doesn't it?_" the Master asked and the Doctor murmured in agreement. "_It's not usually like that. You'd be surprised how good an actor I am. How much control I can have of my mind. How much I can hide._"

"_What do you mean?_" the Doctor asked quietly.

"_You've felt it before, Theta, weeks and weeks ago when all this started, d'you remember?_" the Master replied, his voice remaining soft and gentle. "_You begged me to stop then and I did._" His voice became hard, unfriendly, "_Not this time._"

"_What are-_" the Doctor got no further in his question before he broke off and screamed. _Taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, _the drums forced the Doctor back into his own head and stayed their pounding. He found himself screaming from the pain, his hands pulling at the Master's trying to pull his hands away and break the connection. "Stop it! Please stop it. STOP IT!" He screamed again, the tears flowing down his cheeks.

The Master ignored him, "_Listen, Theta, listen to the drums. Aren't they marvellous? Don't they hurt so very much?_"

"Please."

"_You need to learn, learn to obey your Master,_" he told the Doctor. "_You need to learn that I own you, mind, body and spirit. You're all mine._"

"Stop it, please stop it."

"_You need to learn,_" the Master continued as though the Doctor wasn't pleading desperately with him. "_That I'm in charge, and you do as I say. And you _never _hit back. Is that clear?_"

The Doctor whimpered, no longer having the energy to scream and shout and plead. He heard the Master's words but couldn't find it in him to answer. Everything hurt. His mind was still a mess, the drums were still thumping. The mental pain was so intense it became physical. The Doctor's body hurt from head to toe.

"_I said is that clear?_" the Master shouted into the Doctor's head, causing another whimper from him.

"Y-y-yes," the Doctor stuttered.

"_Yes what?_"

"_Yes M-Master._"

The Master grinned, taking this opportunity to prove his complete power over the Doctor and push him to the ground, leaning over him and kissing him without letting go of the connection. The Doctor tensed but didn't move away. The Master laughed slightly at this, he had done it. He invaded the Doctor's mouth running his tongue over the Doctor's teeth, over the Doctor's tongue. The Doctor was truly his now. He broke the kiss after a long moment, and moved around the Doctor's face with his lips, leaving rough, wet kisses all around. Kissing the Doctor's tears and then licking them away. The Doctor remained tense under him, remained crying, remained hurt, remained his.

**The End**

* * *

**Oh. My. God. It's finished. I don't even know what I'm thinking right now. I could have continued it, but if I had continued it, it would never have ended and it would've got repetitive and boring and the fact is… I like how this has finished. I can't actually believe it's the end. :') I love and hate the feeling of finishing a fanfic. **

**Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed For Gallifrey. To everyone who's put it on alert and favourited it. Thank you. I'll just ask you to review one more time if you don't mind. Love you all. Carly.**


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